Christopher Columbus Jokes

As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.

Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."

Christopher Columbus: discovered nothing, kidnapped, enslaved & murdered natives & gets a national holiday honoring him? Well played, sir.

Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

Donation Request ----SENT FROM FORMER 3 STAR GENERAL, FORMER SENATOR, ROBERT WINGLASS ( AND CLASSMATE ) Dear Friends: I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton. We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces. We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed…

Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left on his voyage, he was not sure where he was headed to. When he got there, he was not sure where he had ended up. And it was all done on a government grant.

Call me Christopher Columbus, Because I'm coming to get India.

Got an email from an airline inviting me to""Discover America"". I've replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus.

Man rules We always hear ""the rules"" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered ""1"" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. L…

Hey guys I just discovered something... It's called Christopher Columbus. I later robbed and killed him.

In honor of Christopher Columbus... In honor of Christopher Columbus, I've just travel aboard the Nina, the Pinta and American Airlines, and I have discovered.... Ohio! Wait, there are people here already? No matter, Happy Holidays to me!

You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later.

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client; You've got to love this lawyer...... A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.…

""What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.""

After Noah led the animals onto the ark, it started to rain After Noah led the animals onto the ark, two by two, it started to rain for 40 days and 40 nights. After the 15th day, with all the animals cooped up together with no designated toilet area, the ark began to smell. So Noah, being a wise old Noah, decided to set up a designated shitting area at the bow of the ark. He then called the animals in for a meeting. He proceeded to tell them about the newly designated shitting area. After the 2…

How did Christopher Columbus find India? He used Apple Maps.

How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America? By occident

How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours.

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus? One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.