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Why women concealed carry. Even a small-caliber gun can come in handy in a confrontation. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.... Here is her story in her own words: ""While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement

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Attorneys, Witnesses and a few jokes Got an email fwd that claims these are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ________ ATTORNEY: Now

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A man knows he is dying... ... but doesn't like any of his children or relatives. So he calls together his three best friends: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer. ""Guys,"" he says, ""I don't want to leave my money to my ungrateful, squabbling children. I'd rather have it buried with me. I'm giving you each an envelope containing $100,000 dollars in cash. My dying wish is that you will agree to put it in my coffin when I'm dead."" The three friends agree to respect the man's wish, and they make a

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A guy goes to the hospital with an infection in his leg It has gotten so bad that they decide the only course of action is to amputate the leg. So they put the guy under and perform the surgery. When he wakes up, he immediately realizes that they had amputated the wrong leg. He is furious, but they obviously still have to amputate the infected leg. So they put him under and amputate his other leg. When he wakes up, he immediately calls his lawyer to discuss the blatant malpractice. However, he w

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In Her Own Words... This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. ""While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest bec

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Pops was summoned for an audit. The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and says, Oka

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Granny's wisdom In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains

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How many lawyers does it take to change a lighbulb? Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as ""Lawyer,"" and the party of the second part, also known as ""Light Bulb,"" do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previous

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Abdul Hassan was a famous maker of carpets in the reign of the Great Caliph, who was much admired for his craftsmanship. But one day, as he was presenting his wares at the Court, a frightful catastrophe occurred. When Abdul bowed low before Haroun al Rashid, he broke wind. That night, the carpet-maker closed his shop, piled his most precious wares upon a single camel, and left Baghdad. For years he wandered, changing his name but never his profession and always yearning to return to his beloved

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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, ""I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'"" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the co

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Pigs digging So one day, Draymond Green was having a great game. He went home and got a call from the local farm, asking if he could help promote their farm. Draymond was feeling particularly happy that day after going ham on the court so he agreed. Once he arrived on the farm, he was greeted spectacularly by the farmer and given a tour around the farm. When it got to the point of the pigs area, he saw that one of the pigs was digging strangely in the ground. When he got closer to get a better l

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