Facebook Jokes

The Legend of Toxic Chemical Smoothie Sit right down and I'll share the tale Of how three Texas guys and one crazy female Came up with the best inside joke there's ever been About the greatest band the world's never seen It started with a video game late one night Toxic Chemical Smoothie sounded just right For their imaginary band and its imaginary deeds That evening's laughter contained the joke's seeds They'd all talk about it from time to time Whenever the memory came to mind Till one Christm…

My friend just posted this on Facebook. He'll make a classic dad one day. I remember 2013 like it was yesterday OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!

The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target. It's an attention-seeking missile.

My friends newspaper ""stories"" about ribs. First of all let me explain, for some stupid reason when I laugh way to much my rib cage starts hurting, I've seen doctors and everything and they say it's completely normal, my friend takes advantage of this and pretty much makes me laugh like hell, most times because he just bursts out laughing when I meantion the word ""rib"". Anyway here are two stories he just randomly wrote to me on facebook, names have been changed. ""Man found dead in his hous…

Girl confesses she met a guy online and asks for her dads blessings. Girl: Dad! I am in love with a boy who lives far away from me. I am in the United States and he lives in the United Kingdom. We met on a dating website, became good friends on FaceBook, had long chats on WhatsApp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now two months of relationship through Viber, I need your blessings and good wishes. Dad: You know we are in the days of technology, where things are now done electronically so I think …

Graham Gates | Facebook Here is his YouTube channel too http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=yIohIslPIMU

A good April Fools joke to pull on Facebook. Post on your Facebook that funeral arrangements for yourself will be posted later in the day and don't answer your phone or respond to any messages. I did this one year and had a ton of people think I was dead.

You know you are successful when ... Girls from school who ignored you on facebook back in the day all of a sudden want to add you on linkedin.

Facebook So I was in a public library and saw a homeless man I had seen around town on facebook. It got pretty depressing because the page wouldn't load every time he tried to click 'home'...

In reference to the Political Fighting Nightmare that is facebook, reddit, etc. right now... You know, fighting over the internet is like competing in the special Olympics... even if you win, you're still retarded.

Hangups It's weird to find out people's hang ups. Some of them can be very weird. My girlfriend has one that I just don't understand. She literally freaks out if I try to watch her pee. I mean I guess it sort of makes sense since she isn't really my girlfriend but we've been dating for a while so close enough right? I mean I guess we aren't REALLY dating per se but I've been facebook stalking her for a while. OK I haven't actually seen her facebook page but I was IN THAT BATHROOM.

New virus Did you hear about the problems with the new Facebook game ""Kitchen Ville""? A virus has been hitting it hard, but it only deletes the cook ware. It is an E-Pan-Demic.

I just changed my Facebook password to '14 days' but it said it was Too weak

I recently broke up with a girl. She wasn't very happy about this and to show how sad she was she wrote this as her Facebook status: ""What's Mickey without Minnie, What's Tigger without Pooh, What's Patrick without Spongebob, What's me without U???"" So I commented: ""That would make you a Fcking Stpid Dmped Cnt""

I've been playing poker on Facebook. So far I've poked 113 women, but not a one of them have poked me back.

There was this group on Facebook called Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat'. So I became a fan.

Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving Facebook notifications after a weekend of drinking that says ""you have been tagged in a photo""

Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb crap

Are you on Facebook ? Cos I sure would like to Poke You

Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your Random Party Pics 08 album at 4am.

Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my Facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave.

My biggest fear of Hurricane Sandy is that i'll lose power and can't Facebook

Facebook needs a button that's the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves.

Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to ""like"" their status.

Having mutual friends with someone does not mean you should add them on Facebook. It's like a stranger knocking on your door and saying, ""Hey we both know Mike, John, and Sara. You mind if I come in?