Facebook Jokes

I use Facebook mostly to keep in touch (without leaving the house) with people whom I do not wish the share my cell number with...

The quickest way to avoid a conversation on Facebook is by clicking like.

Looking at Facebook is a convenient way to realize you can't stand most of the people you sort of know.

Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable.

Oh, you sent me an event invite on Facebook? We've never met and you live 2,400 miles away, of course I'll go!!

If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.

Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money aint got none.

Okay, I'm lost... Can someone please lend me Facebook: Seasons 1 and 2 ???

Hey Facebook, I really don't care that a friend of mine commented on someone else's status or photo.

Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Facebook instead.

Karen on Facebook says... ""Going to the dentist now. Hate having things put in my mouth!!! :("" That's probably why your husband left, Karen.

Facebook should add a hug and kiss button that way people can have a little foreplay before getting poked.

""Please don't put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends"" Every baby

I wonder if dog's had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.

Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?

It's funny to watch you girls on Facebook whine and cry about your drama in one status and then the next....10 mins later ""Pedi's, mani's now and drinks with my besties later, life is great""!!

Mothers, out of the 300 guys you're friends with on Facebook, I can guarantee not even 1 of them wants to see a picture of your baby.

During the stone age, long before Facebook, man was already experiencing the desire to express on a wall what he had eaten.

There are only a few people I can say ""You're one of the few friends I enjoy being with more in person than on Facebook.

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook? Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

My Facebook persona did not sleep well last night.

We all used Facebook out of curiosity and it ended as an addiction.

Dog's Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today... He just yelled at me.

Facebook needs a ""settle down"" button you tap on a friend's profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately.

How to freak someone out. 1. Find someone on Facebook with the same name as you. 2. Steal their profile picture. 3. Poke them.