Facebook Jokes

I hardly know you... but, Facebook says it's your birthday, so happy birthday!

So glad Facebook has changed the layout again!! Said no one, ever...

Facebook has acquired a new mobile app that would allow users to track their exercise and measure how many calories they've burned. So if you love Facebook, and you love exercise, you're lying about one of those.

I'm going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep

Girl posted on Facebook: All men are dogs! I commented: Which breed is your father?

Facebook features three types of women: hot, Photoshopped hot, and a dog for a profile pic.

Admit it... You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook status.

Okay mum...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook.

I've decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back

My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife.

There are 3 reasons for ""Liking"" someone's Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I'm liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.

Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests.

When you think your life couldn't be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account.

I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.

Dear Homework. They might be doing you, But They are always thinking about me. Sincerely FACEBOOK

Thanks to Facebook I feel like we probably need a new word for friend.'

So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!

Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'.

Facebook taught me to mind everyone else's business.

That awkward moment when someone adds you on Facebook, but never says hi in real life.

That good buddy on Facebook who likes your status because nobody else will.

Some relationships today will end over a ""Like"" on Facebook.

If you love someone, just tell them. Or get drunk and ""Like"" a whole bunch of their stuff on Facebook in a short period of time.....same shit.

I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.

I just updated my Facebook status as ""Gonna chill in the garden with a few beers :)."" My boss commented ""I thought you were sick? Lying about your health is against company policy and is a very serious matter."" I replied ""And so is using the work's internet to go on social networking sites.""