Facebook Jokes

Well I failed my driver's test today. The instructor asked me what I do at Red lights, and I said, ""Text and Facebook""

Def Need a "" facebook filter"" to prevent all the weddings and babies from showing up on my feed.

I don't have a problem sharing my funny stuff with ya'll here as you c0py & paste to your Facebook, it's the damn Twitter crew I can't stand with their self righteousness and egos.

When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.

Facebook weather: We are expecting 2 to 3 feet of drama this evening with bullsh1t blowing in from all directions!

Facebook does NOT need a dislike button. It's just gonna start more drama.

98% of Facebook is women telling each other how great they look.

You know before Facebook, I use to call up 435 friends of mine everyday... just to tell them how much I hate my work and how much I love getting stoned.'

I've saved a ton of money on Birthday Cards by switching to Facebook!

The transformation of Facebook into MySpace is almost complete.

When I get on facebook I get excited when I see the red numbers over the globe thing until I open it and find it is for a stupid game request.

So you hate Facebook? Thanks for sharing that with me on Facebook.

Sharing a Facebook account with your gf/wife is the best way to let everyone know how whipped you are.

Before Facebook and online dating, I seriously don't think I've ever seen a picture of a person in their bathroom.

If you're having relationship problems, confess to God not Facebook.

Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?

There are a lot of deadbeat dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates.

Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents..

Ladies, If you would simply make your Facebook profile pic a bikini shot, it would save me a lot of awkward stalking time.

Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with Facebook.

How in the hell do people spell your name wrong on facebook when it's right in front of them?!

The Seven Dwarfs of Facebook: Drunky, Stoney, Skanky, B!tchy, Lonely, Creepy, Stalky

You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook.

I hate it when couples have a little argument and the girlfriend changes her Facebook status to single'.I mean, I have arguments with my parents all the time, you don't see me changing my status to orphan'.