Mickey Jokes

"Hello, 911" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad "Is it Goofy or Pluto?" I don't see how- "Goofy or Pluto?" Pluto "Call a vet" *hangs up*

Mickey: ok but that'll be $20 extra Goofy: Done. *Mickey puts on bow and heels*

Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.

Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says ""so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" Mickey replies ""No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy.""

Even if you hate your job, the people you meet are some of the most important relationships you'll ever make... So thank you work! Without you, and the way you are I would have never met my new friends Mr. Morgan, Jack, Glen, that guy from Bombay, Grey, Mickey from shipping, and of course, Al. I would've never known how much I was like Al until I started working here. Al is now my boss. Mr. Al Coholic. Thanks shitty job!

Donald Trump chose Mikey Pence as his vice-president... Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on? Walt Disney also could not have imagined this...

What do u call a mouse that walks with 2 legs? Mickey mouse John: What do u call a dog that walks with two legs? Jane: Snoopy! Easy.. John: What do u call a duck that walks with 2 legs? Jane: Donald duck! Lol! John: All ducks walk with 2 legs.. lol!

What do you here when Mickey and Minnie are doing it? Squeak, Squeak, Squeak

Mickey mouse is getting a divorce Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says ""unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy"" Mickey says ""I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy""

Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't Because Donald Duck.

I recently broke up with a girl. She wasn't very happy about this and to show how sad she was she wrote this as her Facebook status: ""What's Mickey without Minnie, What's Tigger without Pooh, What's Patrick without Spongebob, What's me without U???"" So I commented: ""That would make you a Fcking Stpid Dmped Cnt""

Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn't read that, you sang it.

Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then. Pupil: My dad won't like that. Teacher: Why is that? Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name!

All the forest animals are having a big car show.. ..shining their rims, getting ready to put their cars on display for the forest folk to see. The bunny is hopping along half drunk and stumbles into the clearing. "WHOAAHhh bear, that's a sweet lambo, how did you ever afford it?" "Well bunny, i'm not an alcoholic like you" replies the bear. The bunny takes another sip of his stashed mickey and hops with his face into the rims of a Ferrari. "Woaahh Fox, how on earth did you afford this!" T…

Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma... Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey sucks" in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey: "Well, the good news is we've figured out that the urine came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee? Mickey: Disney

I went to Disneyland and asked what “Mickey” was short for They said “because he’s a mouse.”

Why is Mickey Mouse’s helicopter no use in Scotland? Disneyland

Mickey is getting a divorce... The judge says ""I'm sorry Mr. Mouse

Mickey and Minnie Mouse were getting divorced The judge said ""You can't just divorce Minnie because she's crazy"

So Mickey Is In Court Divorcing Minnie... There are lawyers everywhere

Mickey goes to a lawyer. Lawyer: so it says here that you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?

Mickey called the police because someone had written ""Mickey Sucks"" in urine in the snow in front of Mickey's house. The officer told Mickey

""Mickey mouse it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was.........extremely silly?"" ""No

Mickey and Minnie get a divorce Mickey Mouse is talking to the judge trying to get a divorce from Minnie.