"Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me. Some mornings I wake up and think I'm Donald Duck. Other times I think I'm Mickey Mouse." "Hmmm. How long have you been having these Disney spells?"

Kids claim to be such big fans of Mickey Mouse, but you don't see them with an icechest full of Capri Sun tailgating for Disney On Ice.

Mickey Mouse just got shot at Disney World for being black.

Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says ""so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" Mickey replies ""No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy.""