Mickey Mouse Jokes

Kids claim to be such big fans of Mickey Mouse, but you don't see them with an icechest full of Capri Sun tailgating for Disney On Ice.

2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy! Me: Oh ok then 2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy! Me: huh? 2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY

I wish dreams were like Chatroulette and you could just click "Next" when you see a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume jerking off.

I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"

Mickey Mouse just got shot at Disney World for being black.

A riddle for the day Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi's. What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good ) ---------------------------------------------------------- The answer is: ""A Last Name."" Sorr…

Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says ""so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" Mickey replies ""No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy.""

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet.

What did Mickey Mouse say to Trump when Goofy threw a shoe at him? DONALD DUCK !!!

The Peanut Gallery Somewhere back in the era of grainy black-and-white TV, there was a Saturday kid's show called ""Riddle Griddle."" It was hosted by Jimmy Valentine, who is now in the Minnesota Broadcasting Hall of Fame. The show had bleachers where the kids sat, like the ""Peanut Galleries"" of Mickey Mouse and Howdy Doody. The kids brought a riddle to the show and Valentine, who loved riddles, would try to solve them. If he failed, the kid got some sort of little prize. So, one Saturday, thi…

Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of mouse walks on two legs? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs? A: They all do!

Actual ""dad"" joke from my dad What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.

Mickey Mouse hangs himself... He doesn't die though, it's just a case of suspended animation.

MICKEY & DONALD IN A FOXHOLE Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked.

A riddle for today Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi's. What is it? [The answer is: ""A Last Name."" Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)

Mickey mouse is getting a divorce Mickey mouse goes to a lawyer and says he wants a divorce. Lawyer says ""unfortunately you can't divorce your wife cause she is crazy"" Mickey says ""I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy""

What mouse has two legs? Mickey Mouse. What duck has two legs?

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells.

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ? He wanted to find Pluto !

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee? Mickey: Disney

One snowy day, Mickey Mouse looks out his window and sees his name written in pee. He calls the police for an investigation. After the investigation, the police tells him there is good and bad news. The good news is it was Goofy’s pee, the bad news is it’s Minnie’s handwriting.

A guy is on a date with a girl... They are sitting on a bench in the park, and he puts his hand on her knee. He says "I really like you." She looks down at his hand on her knee, glances at her crotch, smirks, and seductively says "higher." He replies in his best Mickey Mouse voice "*I really like you!*"

Mickey Mouse saved Trumps life at the rally… He yelled “Donald duck”

My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me: "Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?" "Erm, I don't know" I replied "Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing "Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs" "Donald Duck" I replied "No, all ducks you idiot"