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Abraham Lincoln Jokes

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Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie." She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of Thomas Jefferson resp…

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It was the first day of a school in USA and a... ...and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'' Again, no response excep…

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Smart Mexican It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of a Mexican telecom tycoon, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth" "? Again, no response except fr…

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Hillary Clinton is elected President. On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady), she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Washington replies "Serve your country selflessly and always be honest" *Hillary laughs in his face* On her second day in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Jefferson replies "Remember that governments derive t…

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Two men are sitting in a bar 'Hey, when were you born?' asks the first man. '3rd of February 1961,' replies the second. 'Interesting, that's when I was born too! Where were you born?' 'In Seattle.' 'That's weird, I was born in Seattle as well,' exclaims the first man. 'Where did you go to school?' 'I went to the Abraham Lincoln High School.' 'That's incredible, I went to Lincoln High too!' A waitress walks by. The first man grabs her arm and says: 'Hey, listen! This guy and I were born …

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First Day of School It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of a Mexican immigrant, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth" "? Again, no response except from P…

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