Abraham Lincoln Jokes

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln? Because he was always in a cent.

Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail? Because he was in-a-cent!

Why can't Abraham Lincoln be convicted for murder? Because he's in a cent.

Do you know why Abraham Lincoln never committed a crime? Because he was always

Why would John Wilkes Booth kill Abraham Lincoln? You would too if the guy in front of you at the Theatre was wearing a Top Hat!

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age

When his son asked for a lift in the car just to get to the end of their road, his father told him: "You should be ashamed. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school." "Really?" said the boy. "Well, when he was your age, he was president!" At the age of six I was left an orphan. What kind of idiot gives an orphan to a six-year-old?

Your momma's so fat she sat on a penny and Abraham Lincoln started singing, "Oh say can you see, get your fat butt off me!"

Teacher: “What happened in 1809?” Student: “Abraham Lincoln was born.” Teacher: “What happened in 1819?” Student: “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old!”

A man applied for the post of a detective. In the interview he was asked a question: Who killed Abraham Lincoln? Man: I will tell you tomorrow. He come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Lincoln.

A local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. After a series of questions that the blonde failed, the sheriff asked in desperation one final question: "Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" The blonde looked a little surprised, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted: "I don't know!" "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, the blonde wandered over to a restaurant where some friends were waiting t…