"The greatest thing about twitter is that you can quote something & totally make up the source." ~ Abraham Lincoln, 1862

At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers

A man named John dies and goes to heaven. He arrives at the pearly gates and sees Peter. John goes up to Peter and says ""Where's God?"" Peter replies, ""The Lord has some business to do so I'm filling in for him. Do you want to take a tour of heaven?"" John says ""Sure!"" Peter and John go around heaven and see everything there is to see. John sees his childhood pet, his great-grandmother, and even says hi to Abraham Lincoln. In the final part of the tour, Peter takes John into an enormous room…

The teacher said.. Let's begin by reviewing some history. Who said: 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death!'? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ""Patrick Henry, 1775,"" he said. ""Very good! ""Who said: 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth!'?"" Again, no response except from Little Akio: ""Abraham Lincoln, 1863."" ""Excellent!"" said the teacher continuing. ""Le…