White House Jokes

A CNN reporter walks into a White House press meeting [removed]

People need to be a little bit more considerate of Trump's decision to skip the White House Correspondents' dinner. The roasting waiting for him there would probably have made him the second black president.

Boy breaks into White House He writes on the wall ""trump is full of shit"".

Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him

Donald Trump is looking to paint the White House... Donald Trump is looking to paint the White House. He asks Chinese contractors how much they would charge. They say 3 million. He asks European contractors how much they would charge. They say 7 million. He asks Ecuadorian contractors how much they would charge. They say 10 million.

Hillary and Trump tie in the election... And the election moderator isn't sure what to do. So he decides that the president will be decided by a foot race around the White House lawn.

President Obama is doing his morning exercises... ...and jogging around the White House grounds when one of the Secret Service agents suggests he should see how fast he can circle the White House ten times. After all

Hillary Clinton is elected President. On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady)

There's a special running course around the White House. Every president does this before they leave office

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House... Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest intelligent

If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?

What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago another is from Tennessee

""Donald says he wants to run for President and move on into the White House... ...why not; it wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home"" -Snoop Dogg

Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says

Bill and the Genie Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama's new puppy

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House... Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House, after three laps Trump excitedly yells "10 minutes exactly, well that has to be a new record!". Obama says "I don't think so, Bush did 9:11".

One day, the President finds a nasty message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn. He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results. "Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news." "What's the bad news?" "The urine belongs to the Vice President." "What could possibly be worse than that?" "The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."

Who lives there?,"The yellow man lives in the yellow house. The purple man lives in the purple house. The red man in the red house. And the blue man in the blue house. So who lives in the White House? The black man. It's better in person I'm so sorry.

What's the difference between the Serengeti and the White House?,"In the Serengeti there are African lions but in the White House there's a lyin' African.

Who lives there? The yellow man lives in the yellow house. The purple man lives in the purple house. The red man in the red house. And the blue man in the blue house. So who lives in the White House? The black man. It's better in person, I'm so sorry.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom? The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

What's the difference between the Serengeti and the White House? In the Serengeti there are African lions, but in the White House there's a lyin' African.

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding? A tourist.