Sir, your resume is just a picture of you photoshopped into a quidditch match. No need for an interview, welcome to the White House

Say Bubba, do you know.... *One of my favorite Bubba jokes* Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, ""You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."" Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, ""OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"" ""Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."" So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, ""Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend c…

So there was this wasp who lives in a jungle. (long) So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember…

There was once a bee that lived in a jungle. So there once was this bee that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary bee though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit bee community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the bee enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a …