Q&A Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she kept throwing out all the Ws.

Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

What do organic mathematicians put in their fireplaces? Natural logs.

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord? The leash goes slack...

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already? Mistress: Are you done yet? Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

You know why cannibals don't eat divorced women? They're bitter. — Garrison Keillor

Who hosts the Late Night Show in North Korea? Jimmy Kim-il

How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? Well... none. But their friend did once.

How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Sorry.

pirate jokes eh? How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? a buccaneer

What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody nose.

After months of trying to come up with a joke that makes sense, my 10yo sister dropped this one on me last night. What killed the cat? A stroke.

My favorite pirate joke (no arrr) Say it out loud. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? I'm 80!

How can a girl make you a millionnaire? If you're already a billionnaire.

what do you call 4 mexicans in a sinking boat? quatro cinqo ^im sorry

Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

Two Irishmen are sitting having a pint when a Turf truck drives by. The first Irishmen says "When I win der lottery dats what I'm gonna do". The second Irishmen says "Whats that, drive a truck"? "No ya daft bastard, send my lawn away to be mowed"!

Just wrote this one about my esteemed profession. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables: Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly from fixture to fixture, the altitude of defective bulb must first be determined upon which point th…

Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.

anyone interested in a good Sherlock Holmes joke? Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night. At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?" Watson said, "I see millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?" Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions …

Son of a beech? An oak and a maple were standing at the edge of a bluff gazing out over the vast expanse when they noticed a young sapling in the glen below. "Oh look," said the oak. "A young son of a beech." "Actually I think it's son of a birch," said the maple. They turned to a male woodpecker hammering away in a nearby box elder. "Hey Woody," the oak called out. "Would you mind flying down and checking out that young sapling in the glen? Maple here says it's a son of a birch but I thin…

What did the gay man say to his cheating boyfriend? I see you already have your shit packed, now get out.

What's the heaviest soup in Asia? Wonton soup!

I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia... [Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union] Have you tried Stalin bacon before? *I'm not sure.. I don't think so...* Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might thinks it's 'Arrrr" but his first love be the 'C'