Q&A Jokes

What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeño business

Dumb joke I thought of while bored at work. Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict? You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

[Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies? They both violate the rules of the premises.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? She gets a frog in her throat at 69! Wakka wakka wakka!

Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty? He caught on fire.

Cop: Is that a radar detector I see? A cop pulled me over the other day for speeding. After giving me the ticket, he teases me a bit about my out of state plate and the fact that I'm driving a car that's in my Dad's name. He points to my dash and asks, "Is that a radar detector I see?" Me: I don't know. Cop: Is that a radar detector I see? Me: I don't know it's my Dad's car. It's just always been there, but it does let me know every time I pass a Krispy Kreme. He smirked, said, "Good one. Now…

A man visits the doctor and then he meets a friend. Friend: Whatsup, where you been? Man: Ive visited the doctor Friend: What did he say? Man: 200 Dollars Friend: Yeah, but what do you have Man: I have 50 dollars Friend: I Mean whats the problem? Man: 150 dollars I m not sure if it makes any sense in English, but i tried

You can only do this after 15 years of marriage! After 15 years of marriage, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said: ABCDEFGHIJK. "What does that mean?" she asked. "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied. Smiling, she asked: What about IJK? He replied: I'm Just Kidding!

How many ears does Spock have? Three. A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier.

An 18-year-old Italian girl tells her Mom that she thinks she is pregnant. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test results show that the girl IS pregnant. Shouting , cursing, crying…the mother says, “Who wassa dah piga that do thisah to you? Ima wanna know!!” The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferarri stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit …

A religious traitor Son: Dad, what's a religious traitor? Father: A person who leaves our church and joins another. Son: And what is a person who leaves another church and joins ours? Father: A convert, son, a blessed convert.

Have what it takes to become a Monk? Thomas decieded to live his life in service to the Lord. So he went to the nearby monastery to join the Benedictine order of monks there. Thomas was welcomed by Brother John, who gave him a tour of the monastic life. Thomas was excited and eager to join. Brother John laid out the conditions of induction into the order. Before Thomas would be accepted he would need to complete a 3 year probationary period. During this time, Brother John explained, Thomas w…

A severely depressed man decides to end it all... so he finds the tallest building in the area and climbs to the roof. While he was standing precariously on the ledge and thinking about all the reasons why he was ready to die, he happens to look down at the street below. There are few people on the street but one man on the corner stands out, even from that height. The man is down there dancing around happily. What really stands out is that the man has no arms. The depressed man is struck by th…

Knock knock Who's there? Owls . . . Owls who? Yes they do

A groaner just for you... Q. What do you have if you are holding a mothball in your right hand and a mothball in your left hand? A. A **VERY** large moth...

Two friends are chatting in a bar... A: I will never understand the way women think. B: Why do you say that? A: My wife came home the other day with some revealing lingerie and told me "I bought these for you." B: So? A: She started yelling at me when I put them on.

Talking shoes What did the shoes say to the capri pants? "What's up britches!" What did the shoes say to the black underpants? "Whassup my knickers?"

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver? The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

You know why women are bad at parking? Because they are constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.

What do you call a German Barber? Herr Cut.

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach? Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

What does a cow call his girlfriend? His significant udder.

Know any Swedish jokes? I've heard they don't Finnish very well

How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, a beaver, an ass, some hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find.