Brother John Jokes

In the Monastry There was this order of Monks that were not allowed to speak but they could chant at prayer times. Each morning they gathered for prayers and the Abbot intoned 'Good morning Monks' and they all chanted in reply 'Good morning Abbot'. Unfortunately, Brother Bernard was a bit of a rebel and got a bit fed up with this so the next morning, when it was time to reply to the Abbot, he, instead, intoned 'Good Evening Abbot' (He was, indeed, a rebel). The Abbot heard this, looked round and…

The whiny monk A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He can only say two words every five years. After five years, Father Donald says to him, "Brother John, what do you have to say?" He replies, "Bed hard." Five more years go by and Father Donald asks him again. He replies, "Food bad." Another five years go by and Father Donald asks him again. This time he replies, "I quit" at which point, Father Donald says, "Good! You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"

Have what it takes to become a Monk? Thomas decieded to live his life in service to the Lord. So he went to the nearby monastery to join the Benedictine order of monks there. Thomas was welcomed by Brother John, who gave him a tour of the monastic life. Thomas was excited and eager to join. Brother John laid out the conditions of induction into the order. Before Thomas would be accepted he would need to complete a 3 year probationary period. During this time, Brother John explained, Thomas w…

Religious joke for Easter Brother John entered the “Monastery of Silence” and the Abbott said, “Brother, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you wish, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.” Brother John lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Abbott said to him: “Brother John, you have been here 5 years now. You may speak two words.” Brother John said, “Hard Bed.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” the Abbott said. “We will get you a better bed.” After …