Q&A Jokes

What do you say to a man with a broken lizard? Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard. I just got laid.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

What's better than watching a woman wrestle? Seeing her box.

Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their pecker's on their face!

What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis.

How can you tell when your girlfriend is too fat? She fits into your wife's clothes.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll just arrest the light for being broke and beat the room for being black.

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than …

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? About halfway. ^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out...

How are people from Kentucky like flour? They're inbred.

A man walks into... the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and with a belch asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar and could a cab be called for him? The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, …

What's black and doesn't work? Decaf coffe... you racist

What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities

what is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are at least a dollar fifty, and deer nuts are just under a buck.

What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Things you don't want to hear while undergoing an operation * Did he say the right or left leg? * I'd feel a lot better about this if the dotted lines were pre-drawn like back at school. * Buddy! Buddy! Come back with that! Bad dog! * Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie. * Oh no! I just lost my watch. * Argh! There go the lights again... * That's so cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! * I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses. * FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! * What do you mean you w…

Are you gonna eat that? A hungry man with a hankerin' for chili sits down at a restaurant. The waitress approaches to take his order and, of course, he orders a bowl of chili. She replies, "Sorry sir. The gentleman seated at the table next to you got the last bowl." The hungry man looks over and sees that the his neighbor is almost finished his meal but the bowl of chili is still full. Feeling slightly embarrassed but still super in the mood of chili he asks the age old question, "Are y…

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

Did you ever wonder why... ...earrings became so popular with men? A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense". The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings". "Don't make such a big deal out of it. It's only an earring", he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity …

If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day? Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne usually waits until you're 13 before coming on your face.

What does a Jewish pedophile say? Come buy some candy kids!

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they got in the lightbulb.

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it. Edit: Wow front page. Didn't expect this big a response.