Looking to buy a frog? A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for …

Marital Problems (possible oc?) Dave got in a fight with his wife and took off for the night. He calls up his friend Steve who offers Dave his couch. While they're watching the gave and having a beer Steve asks Dave what happened. Dave: I've got no idea. One minute we're talking about the dishwasher, the next she's calling me an arrogant, inconsiderate, chauvinistic pig! Steve: Well what exactly happened? Dave: Well, she handed me $1200 to go get a new dishwasher, so I gave it back and told…

MacGregor A young Irishman sits down for a pint at his local pub, and soon the Scot on the stool next to him strikes up a conversation. You see the fishing pier out that window? asks the Scot. I built that pier with me own bare hands. But do they call me 'MacGregor the Pier-maker?' No. And he takes a drink of his whisky. You see the beautiful bar you're seated at? I planed it down with me own achin' back. But do they call me 'MacGregor the Bar-maker?' No. No! And he takes a drink of his whi…

My best friend slept with my girlfriend. A man was sitting in a bar feeling depressed. Bartender: Whats wrong man? Man: I found my best friend in bed with my girlfriend... Bartender:What did you do? Man: I kicked her out of my house and broke up with her. Bartender: No, what did you do to your best friend? Man: I pointed my finger at him and said "Bad dog".