Sherlock Holmes Jokes

Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

I bet Sherlock Holmes rocked the shit out of elementary school.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: ""Watson, look up and tell me what you see"". Watson said ""I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars"". Holmes: ""And what does that tell you?"" Watson: ""Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be as…

Watson and Holmes are returning from the lock-and-key shop where they've ordered an extra apartment key because Watson lost his. As they arrive, Watson bounds up the steps to 221B Baker Street and barges into their apartment as Sherlock Holmes follows him. ""I'll show you my deductions today Holmes!"", he says. ""I can deduce too!"" Sherlock Holmes shows him the only key to the apartment and says, ""What can you deduce from this key?"" Watson examines it. He says: ""The key has a speck of dirt o…

The Case of the Missing Wallet A man walks into the office of Sherlock Holmes. He explains that his wallet has been stolen. He begs Holmes to take the case as he is a poor man, and the money in the wallet was the only money he had. Holmes staunchly refuses. As the man sulks out, Watson turns to Holmes and asks, ""So why didn't you take the case Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""Because the man is a liar. He is not a poor man as he claims."" Watson, confused, asks Holmes how he could possibly know that…

Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case... Doggy Sherlock: Any leads? Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two. Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.

Sherlock Holmes Looks at the Night Sky Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, ""Watson, what do you see?"" ""Stars and the moon, dear Holmes,"" he says. ""What does it mean?"" Sherlock asks. ""Well,"" says Watson. ""It quite simply means that there are billions of gaseous balls burning millions of light years away."" ""No, what does it MEAN?"" Sherlock asks. ""Well,"" says Watson, ""it means we are in the N…

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom? OC By process of elimination.

If someone stole Sherlock Holmes' magnifying glass, how would he search for clues? Using watSonar

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson replied, ""I see millions and millions of stars."" ""What does that tell you?"" Watson pondered for a minute. ""Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically,…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping One night Holmes and Watson decide to go camping. They set up their tent and fall asleep. After hearing a noise in the middle of the night they both wake up. Holmes points up and asks Watson what he is able to deduce. Watson looks at the sky at sees thousands of stars. Watson says ""Given the amount of stars in the universe and the amount of planets that orbit around them, there must be other life in the universe. "" Holmes sighs and says ""No you idiot, som…

Sherlock Holmes leaves the bathroom without flushing... After he exits he tells Watson ""I think I am constipated."" Watson replies. ""No shit Sherlock?

Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room? Because it was More ER Tea.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson decide to camp in the forest First, they pitch their tent. Then, they cook out, roast marshmallows, then go to their sleeping bags inside the tent. In the middle of the night, both wake up, and Sherlock says, ""Watson, look in the sky. What do you see?"" Watson replies, ""I see billions of stars in the sky."" ""And what do you deduce from that, Watson?"" ""Well,"" Watson replies. ""If some of those stars are actually planets, and those planets are like Earth, then ther…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says ""Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson""

Tesla, Oscar Wilde, and Sherlock Holmes walk into a bar. The punchline of this joke was patented and then hidden by Thomas Edison.

Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Watson were visiting United States... Both came across a primary school and Sherlock turned to his assistant, ""Elementary, my dear Watson."" Watson replied ""No shit, Sherlock.""

Sherlock's Front Door Dr. Watson arrived at 221-B Baker Street and was stunned to find his friend Sherlock Holmes out front in work clothes, painting the front door a pale yellow gloss. ""Holmes what are you doing?"" asked the confused Watson. ""It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson.""

Sherlock Holmes was camping with Dr. Watson... ...and Mr. Holmes turned to his assistant: Tell me, Watson, what do you see? Watson was puzzled by the remark, but he looked up and said, ""Stars. Millions and millions of them."" Holmes responded: ""I agree. And Dr. Watson, certainly you have picked up on many of my techniques of deduction. Can you deduce something from what you see here?"" Dr. Watson looked at Mr. Holmes and said, ""Well, I'm not as good as you are, by any stretch, but why not. I …

Sherlock & Watson go Camping! Best joke ever ONE of the BEST JOKES EVER!! Hasn't been posted in the last 3 days.. so here it goes! Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson replied, ""I see millions of stars."" ""What does that tell you?"" Watson pondered for a minut…

Sherlock Holmes was at home one night... Sherlock Holmes was at home one night, when he gets a call to investigate a crime. So he rings Watson, and asks him to meet him at the scene. Sherlock arrives, and finds the body of a woman dead in the middle of the kitchen floor. He also quickly notices a giant lemon next to the woman, and a hole in the ceiling. Just then, Watson arrives, surveys the scene, and asks So, Sherlock, what do you think killed her?'. Sherlock replied... A lemon entry, my dear …

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson Go Camping... Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, ""Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson said, ""I see millions and millions of stars."" Sherlock said, ""And what does that tell you?"" After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, ""Astronomically, it tel…

I wonder if Sherlock Holmes is good at his taxes... He's great at making deductions.

What do you call Sherlock Holmes with no shit? No shit sherlock

Holmes is on the case... Sherlock Holmes is investigating a murder where the culprit had used a knife carved from Sandstone. Dr. Watson finds the choice of murder weapon odd. ""Holmes, who would kill another man with an Igneous rock?"" ""Sedimentary, my dear Watson, Sedimentary...""