Sherlock Holmes Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip... and in the middle of the night, Sherlock nudges Watson awake. He says ""Watson, look up, and tell me what you see."" Watson says ""well, I see the stars, and that makes me think about our place in the universe. In the face of such cosmic vastness, aren't we really just insignificant? And what of life on other planets? In all the universe, ours can surely not be the only planet to support living beings. Perhaps one day we shall be able to reach …

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping They pitched their tent under the twinkling start and went to sleep. Sometime during the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: ""Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you see."" Watson replied: ""I see millions and millions of stars."" Holmes said: ""And what do you deduce from that?"" Watson Replied: ""Well, if there are millions and millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like…

Sherlock Holmes walks into his house with a basket full of lemons. Watson asks, ""Where did you get so many lemons?"" Holmes replies, ""A lemon tree, Watson..""

A joke I think I made up Sherlock Holmes was investigating someone's house for clues when he spotted a closed door. He tried to open it but it was locked. He turned to the owner of the house and asked ""Watson that room?"" I've never heard this joke before, but I'm not sure if I'm the first one to ever think of it (hopefully I am).

Sherlock Holmes just finished a big case... ...him and watson are smoking a heater and sherlock says ""Oh watson... I want to ravish you"" watson says ""oh sherlock do it right here."" sherlock rips down watsons pants and shoves a lemon merang pie up his ass and continues to sotemize him. after this is all done, watson say ""oh sherlock... thats was amazing, but what was the point of the lemon merang pie?"" sherlock replies ""lemonentry watson, lemonentry.""

Sherlock Holmes and his trusty associate Dr. John Watson are strolling leisurely through London's botanical gardens. (OC) They are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a botanist who specialized in arboreal citrus. Watson squints, focusing his gaze on something across the gardens. He gasps in surprise and grabs Sherlock's arm. He points at the thing that has captivated his attention and asks ""Sherlock, is that a lime tree?"" Sherlock offers a pleasant chuckle and turns to Watson slowly…

Watson you idiot! Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: ""Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."" Watson replied: ""I see millions and millions of stars."" Holmes said: ""And what do you deduce from that?"" Watson replied: ""Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planet…

What does it tell you, Holmes? Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" ""I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes"" replies Watson. ""And what do you deduce from that?"" Watson ponders for a minute. ""Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and …

What do you see watson? Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" ""I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes"" replies Watson. ""And what do you deduce from that?"" Watson ponders for a minute. ""Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potent…

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson were walking past an American primary school... And Sherlock Holmes points and says ""Elementary, my dear Watson"" Watson, realizing how obvious this is, replies ""No shit, Sherlock""

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a shit... When they are finished Dr. Watson turns around and notices only one pile of crap on the floor. ""Look at this Holmes... Instead of two piles on the floor there is only one. This is very strange!"". Sherlock Holmes ponders for a few seconds, takes a few puffs of his pipe, turns to the Doctor and say ""Its elementary my dear Watson! You forgot to take your pants off"".

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: ""Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."" Watson replied: ""I see millions and millions of stars."" Holmes said: ""And what do you deduce from that?"" Watson replied: ""Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out t…

What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to? Elementary :)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. ""Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."" Watson replied, ""I see millions and millions of stars."" ""What does that tell you?"" Holmes asked. Watson pondered for a minute. ""Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Ast…

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them. Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, ""You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."" ""Why would you say that?"" wondered the broker. ""Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire ca…

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out camping - don't ask me why, probably on the track of some Barkervillian Hounds, or somesuch. In the middle of the night Sherlock rouses Watson and asks, ""Watson, what can you deduce from the stars above us this evening?"" Watson replies, ""Well, I can deduce a number of things. For example, from their clarity I can deduce that the morn will be clear and sunny. From the position of the constellations I can deduce that it is currently early June. Finally, I can …

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying awake looking up at the sky. Holmes said, ""Watson, look up. What do you see?"" ""I see thousands of stars,"" replied Watson. Then Holmes asked, ""And what does that mean to you?"" ""Well,"" said Watson ""I suppose it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"" ""To me Watson, it means someone has stolen our tent!""

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: ""Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see"". Watson: ""I see millions and millions of stars"". Holmes: ""And what does that tell you?"" Watson: ""Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a bea…

Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said ""Watson look up. What do you see? ""Well I see thousands of stars."" ""And what does that mean to you?"" ""Well I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you Holmes?"" ""To me it means someone has stolen our tent.""

Camping Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out t…

Sherlock Holmes and three passers-by Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are walking over the London Bridge. Sherlock Holmes says, "I bet I can convince the next three passers-by to jump off the bridge." Dr. Watson accepts the bet. They see the first passer-by. "Mister, you are an Englishman." "Yes." "You are going to the stock exchange." "Yes." "Did you know that the stock market crashed?" "My God!" He jumps off the bridge. They see the second passer-by. "Monsieur, you are a Frenchman."…

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of plane…

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. An…

Holmes and Watson on a camping trip Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned. Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galax…

I don't know if this has been posted before but it's one of my favourite jokes Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes." Replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tel…