Politics Jokes

People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government

Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election

[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.

When I see someone's name trending on twitter, I used to be afraid they died. Now I'm afraid they're a Republican presidential candidate.

One time, a woman admitted she was wrong, but the government covered it up.

If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."

Tonight I saw a truck spin out in a snowy McDonalds parking lot, and honestly it was doing a much better job of being president.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face.

Heading to Chinatown tomorrow just to hear the people there say the word "election" all day.

Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia.

Best part of election night is seeing how fast states tabulate votes and judging the slow ones. What's up, Sloth Carolina?!

Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?

I swear I change my mind about this election every time I open up facebook. My high school friends are political geniuses!

*dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*

Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now.

The year is 2036, President Jaden Smith is re-elected in a landslide after making it illegal to respond to someone's text message with "K"

"I think it's about time we had a white president" - 8 year olds

I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball.

we're going to have a president named jeb. president jeb.

.@Oprah If I were as rich as you I'd shit on the floor & tell a senator to pick it up.

they smoked a joint and overthrew the government. now that's a high coup

REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*

"Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace" "Why, there's nothing for them in Keny-" "HAWAII, sir" "Right, that's wh

Crime rates are down 100% after President Obama made it illegal to do crimes. "I don't know why we didn't think of this before," he said.