Politics Jokes

coworker: those are some crazy socks me: well I guess th- socks: THE GOVERNMENT RECORDS ALL OF OUR PHONE CALLS & IS HIDING UFO EVIDENCE

TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd

"This race is over," said Donald Trump, referring to the entire human race if he is elected president.

The swimsuit portion of the presidential election is going to suck.

Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks.

Dear President Kennedy, is it cool if we start asking what our country can do for us yet?

Pretty awesome that we have a black President. Maybe one day we'll even have a President named Sean.

Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play

Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children

Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the "intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist" wing of the Democratic Party.

I vote for less election coverage

Mainstream Media: Obama signs repeal of DADT. Fox News: Foreigner masquerading as President admits he's gay.

A white female President's first order of business would be instituting the "No Cupcake Left Un-Instragrammed" act.

I want to be elected president, learn the truth about aliens, and then resign.

Changed my outgoing voicemail message to "You have reached the government."

If your phone rings during a movie, answer it "Yes, Mr. President. Right away, sir!" And then run head first through the screen.

2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say

At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers

Its official. Donald trump is the 45th greatest president of the united states.

I bet the government is behind all these conspiracy theories.

Don't be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.

Every time this gets RTed a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin.

She was Hannah Montana when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

[2018] ALIEN: take me to ur leader ME: uh ok *takes him to president Donald Trump* ALIEN: lol good one but seriously where's ur real leader

TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific