I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary.

I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald's because fitness is a lifestyle

Being elected President wouldn't give me the level of self-satisfaction I have after a car speeds by me & I end up next to it at a red light

You could probably win the US election by promising to make the McRib a permanent McDonald's menu item.