Mick Jagger Jokes

So a frog walks into a bank... So a frog walks into this bank to apply for a bank loan. He approaches the tell and notices her name tag says Patricia Whack. He walks up to her and says, ""Miss Whack I'm here to apply for a bank loan. I need $30,000 to go on my dream vacation."" Patty is a little thrown off by this unusual request and replys, ""We usually don't give out loans that large of an amount. Especially for a dream vacation. I can help you out with some smaller loans such as our $10,000 s…

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"". The other says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"".

Bit long, but one of the few work appropriate ones I know. A frog named Kermit Jagger walks into a bank and up to the bank teller whose named Patty Wack. Kermit: Hi there, I'm Kermit Jagger the son of the famous Mick Jagger and I would like a loan for $30,000 to buy a speed boat. Patty Wack: Oh ok? Well do you have a down payment? Kermit: As a matter of fact I do. (Pulls out a small porcelain elephant from his pocket and gives it to the teller) Patty Wack: (Unsure of what to do) I'll go ask the …

Playboy Mansion So Hugh Hefner was having a lavish party at the Playboy mansion. All the celebrities were there. It started out well, but at one point Hugh Hefner and Dennis Weaver got into a BIG argument. Hugh was getting the best of Dennis at which time Mick Jagger intervened with ""Hey Hugh, get off of McCloud""....

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller He can tell from her name-plate her name is Patricia Whack. 'Ms. Whack I'd love to get $30,000 to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief, and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that its okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with collateral. The frog says 'sure I have this,' and he produces a tiny porcelain elephant about an inch tall, br…

A Kermit the frog goes to get a loan at a bank. He gets to the counter and states his request to the teller, Mrs. Whack. Mrs. Whack: ""Can you give a down payment or give us something to hold until your debt is paid off?"" The frog puts a tiny pink elephant on the counter in front of her. Mrs. Whack is very confused. Kermit: ""My father, Mick Jagger is friends with the manager. Go ask him if he will accept it."" So Mrs. Whack goes to the manager with the request and the pink elephant. Manager: "…

A Frog Walks Into A Bank and approaches the teller who's name is John Paddywack. ""I would like to take out a loan for $100,000"" the frog declares. Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says ""Since you don't have any credit with this bank you'll need a cosigner."" ""No Problem"" says the frog ""My father is Mick Jagger and he'll cosign the loan for me."" ""Well you'll also need some collateral"" Mr. Paddywack countered. ""Will this work?"" Asks the frog and pulls from his pocket a mishappen Budd…

I asked Mick Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants. But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.

There once was a teller at a bank... named Patricia MacIntosh. One day when she was at work, a frog walked into the bank, came right up to her and said: ""Gimme a loan for a thousand bucks."" Now Patricia was a good bank employee, and went to check his credit history to see if the loan could be approved. She found that he currently already had an outstanding loan which he hadn't even begun to pay off, and she therefore wasn't allowed to give him another one. After explaining this to the frog, th…

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So, he says, ""Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."" Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says ""$30,000."" The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti exp…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, ""hey, you! Get off my cloud!"", and the other one says, ""hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!""

What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman? One says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says ""Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!""

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""Sure . I have this,"" and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,…

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. 'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, abou…

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday". Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is Mick Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.…

A frog walks into a bank to get a loan... He goes up to the lady behind the counter, and noticing her name tag, the frog says, "Hi, Mrs. Whack. I'd like to take out a loan." She says "Well I don't know. We don't normally give out loans to frogs." The frog says "Well, I want a loan." She says "alright, well what's your first name?" "Kermit." Laughing, the woman says "No way. You're not *Kermit the Frog*." "No, I'm not. But I'm named after him," says the frog. "And your last name?" "J…

A frog needs a loan... ...so he goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. 'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks 'Okay, well what's your name?' The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, son of the musician Mick Jagger. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, a…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

A billionaire decides to build a palace A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60’s together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It’s perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations. A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of 60’s luminaries standing in the grass…

A frog walks into a bank... ...and proceeds to ask the Asian teller, Ms. Patricia Wok, for a $5,000 loan. Absolutely gobsmacked at a talking frog she mechanically goes through the procedure, asking him if he has any references. As a matter of fact, he replies, my dad's Mick Jagger, he's a musician. Okay, she says hesitantly. I mean if a talking frog, what's not allowed? Do you have any collateral, she continues. Yeah, he says, this ruby, while pulling a crimson rock from his overalls. Co…

A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, …

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produc…

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $10000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a t…

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells "Hey! You! Get off my cloud!" The shepherd yells "Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"

A frog walks into a bank... ...and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elepha…