Hugh Jokes

I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography.

An order of monks are selling flowers... ...illegally on the lawn of the Playboy Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Only Hugh... Three Monk-to-be's decided that the celibate life was not the life for them. They left the monastery after tell the Abbot that they were tired of singing and praying all day. The three young men moved to a near by village and started a flower shop. The flower shop flourished and was more successful than any other business in town, until, children started disappearing from the surrounding area. The entrepreneurs were soon under scrutiny because they were the newest members of the com…

The worst (best?) pun ever. So a man owns a flower shop in a small town. He's the only florist in the area, so nof course all the townspeople went to him to buy flowers for special events. Then one day a friar moves in, and sets up a flower shop right across the street from the florist. Since everyone wanted to buy flowers from a man of God, the florist started losing business. About a week goes by, and the florist realises, ""Hey, I'm going bankrupt here. I need to do something about this."" So…

Police responded to a call outside the Playboy mansion. Mr. Hefner called the police to remove a group of monks selling daisies out of an illegal roadside stand in front of the Playboy mansion. A police spokesperson released a statement ""we responded promptly to Mr. Hefner's call because as everybody knows, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.""

Some monks were selling flowers outside the playboy mansion Hugh Hefner realises this and puts a stop to it as they are on his property and welcoming tourists. The local news catches wind of this and goes to interview the monks. The reporter asks ""do you think you will set up shop somewhere else?"" And the monks reply ""oh yes, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.""

A man called Andrew moved from Cork to Dublin to open a flower shop. He was quite successful and through great marketing, quality product, and reasonable prices, Andrew's Flowers became the top garden shop in all Dublin. Some monks that had a stall set up nearby took notice and, since attendance at the local parish (and the accompanying tithing revenue) was way down, they decided to grow and sell their own flowers. Since they grew all their own produce, the monks were able to undercut Andrew at …

There's a church running out of funding Because their beliefs aren't popular anymore. They're very conservative, and the members are very loyal. There isn't another church like them in any nearby town, and they don't want to let their members down. The church is run by friars sworn to be completely devout to the church and work nowhere else, but they can't afford it anymore. A few friars get together and decide that they should open up a flower shop. They also decide not to tell the head of the …

There were a group of friars.... These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ""persuade"" them to clos…

So, a chubby man walks into a bar... He was so chubby that he knocked over a few chairs when he took his seat. He orders a beer and begins to have a wonderful conversation with the bartender. The bartender is ecstatic to have met such an amazing person. Before he leaves the bartender asks him his name. The gentleman replies in a quite mischievous tone ""It's Hugh, Mungus... ;)""

Did you hear about the one with the florists? There are two florists, just normal guys selling flowers in their town. They're doing well, making an honest living, business is booming. A few months later, two friars move in and decide to become florists themselves. The townspeople decide they prefer to buy from men of God and stop buying from the original florists. They decide to change things, so they go to talk to the friars, ask them nicely to leave, but nothing happens. So they hire a mercena…

Only you Famous playboy, Hugh Hefner, managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. One friar said, ""Well if it was anyone else, we may have gotten away with it, but unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.""

It is 1538 and the Dissolution of Monasteries by King Henry VIII is in progress... having broken away from the Catholic church, Henry had angered many adherents both domestic and abroad, and sought to shut down any institutions that swore their allegiance to the Catholic church before he had a revolt on his hands. He attempted to completely squash all churches, monasteries and friaries that remained devoutly Catholic. While for most he could simply cut off their ability to function by seizing th…

3 Monks It seems there were three monks who enjoyed raising plants and were trying to keep a flower shop running, selling unique and exotic plant life. One day, some children where playing behind the shop and were eaten whole by an extremely rare man-eating plant. The parents, needless to say, were outraged, and demanded that the friars get rid of the dangerous plant. The friars refused. So the parents and the people of the town tried several ways to get the friars to consent, but finally they h…

The Killers The band 'The Killers' decide to attend a Fancy Dress party, the theme being 'Famous People'. They agree that they will all dress up as the same person, but can't agree on who. In the end they finally seem to come to some sort a consensus and leave. On the night they meet up when Brandon Flowers, the lead singer, notices something wrong. Half of the group were dressed as Hugh Hefner and the other half were dressed as Dan Ackroyd. Brandon, clearly distressed and annoyed at this says, …

My friend was quite a colorful character... His name was Hugh

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Breaking News: Famous playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stalls, which were outside the playboy's mansion, where they were selling flowers. Said one friar,""If it were anyone else, we would have gotten away with it. But, unfortunately, only Hugh can stop florist friars."" Credits to Colin Mochrie for this one

The Friars Club recently held a charity fundraiser in California. Over the span of a few weeks, they set up flower stands on street corners and in public spaces and sold flowers by the dozen. After they had covered most of the dirt area, they were scouting around for a new location when they came across a bit of well-lit forest land. So they set up their table and sold their flowers. Turns out, the land belonged to Hugh Hefner, and it was actually part of the parcel of land the Playboy Mansion w…

A new flower shop opens up... A new flower shop opens up. Its run by these two friars. Because they atlre so dedicated to their trade, the other flower shops can't compete. They hire a goon named Vito to beat them up and run them out of business, but he doesn't want to beat up the holy men. He refers them to his buddy Hugh who is more unscrupulous. Hugh beats them up and their flower shop goes out of business. The moral of the story is: Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Monks vs Hugh There was once a group of monks who lived near a village. They would grow flowers and one day they discovered that human blood was the best fertilizer, so the monks began killing villagers for their blood. All the villagers formed a mob and went to confront the monks except for Hugh, he was out fishing. When they demanded that the monks leave the monks asked if Hugh was with them, the villagers replied ""no"" and left defeated. The monks continued to kill people so all the villager…

Hugh The Legendary Hero. One day up in the mountains a group of monks began planting flowers. They toiled away but nothing ever grew. Frustration got the most of them and one monk was killed over the flowers, and to everyone's surprise the flowers bloomed. Now knowing what they needed was blood the monks began killing people from the nearby village. The villagers cried out ""Hero Hugh! We need your help."" For Hugh was the legendary hero of old, but sadly he was saving other villagers. The monks…

A gang in the UK So, first of all, here's a disclaimer, this post contains certain British slang, so if you don't understand it, inbox me. So a man was once born In the Jaynus family, his parents called him Hugh and they had high hopes for him in his careers. After many years, at the age of 16, got his exam results, he was pleased to see that most of them were A's or B's, but he got an A* in English for his presenting. About 6 years later, he wins the National big jackpot lottery, 250 Million. H…

Just came into a HUGH sum of money... I'm an ant and its a penny.

So an order of monks once set up a flower shop near the playboy mansion. They were pretty successful until one day Hefner found out about them. The cops were called and it was shut down. The head monk said that of it was anyone else's house they would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friars. Source: Colin Mochrie