John Wayne Jokes

What does British toilet paper and John Wayne have in common? It's rough, and tough, and doesn't take any crap.

What kinda pet would John Wayne get?... He'd get a long little doggie.

No Name Toilet paper An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. ""White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper,"" says the Indian. ""How much is it?"" ""$1.00 a roll,"" the clerk replies. ""That seems pretty expensive,"" responds the Indian. ""What about the others?"" ""Charmin is $2.00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll."" The Indian doesn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hou…

A native American walks into a store to buy toilet paper... He checks the aisles, then walks up to the clerk behind the counter. ""Where do you keep your toilet paper? I can only see one ply paper?"" ""I'm afraid one ply is all we have sir."" ""I don't want any of that John Wayne toilet paper..."" ""John Wayne toilet paper sir?"" ""That's right, because it's rough, tough and takes no shit from an Indian."" *Edit: My grammar sucks.

When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines. It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true.

Why did John Wayne get a weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.

My Dad's Go-To Joke A Native American man walks into his local convenience story one day to buy a roll of toilet paper. He sees there are only two kinds available, so he asks the cashier, ""what is the difference between the two?"" The cashier says, ""Well, the brand name one is more expensive and our no-name one is very cheap."" The Native American decides to save some money and buys the no-name toilet paper. The next day, that same Native American returns to the convenience store and tells the…

Did you hear about the new John Wayne toilet paper? It's ruff tuff, and takes shit from no one.

John Wayne toilet paper A Native American walks into a corner store and asks the cashier if there's any toilet paper for sale. The cashier responded, ""We have 2 kinds of toilet paper, the premium super soft 3 ply Charmin and our cheap store brand that doesn't have a name."" ""Give me the cheap one."" And the guy went home. A few days later, the Native American comes back and tells the cashier that he's come up with a name for their store brand toilet paper: John Wayne. ""Why? Because he's rough…

I was with some friends and we started talking about movies. One of my friends mentioned that the sets in old Westerns were often built slightly smaller than normal to make the leading man appear larger. I said that that would make sense because I heard that John Wayne, while filming a scene with his co-star, complained that the town wasn't big enough for the two of them.

John Wayne It was a slow day for Mike. He was hunched over the counter doing the crossword in newspaper to pass time as he waited for customers to visit his shop. The door opened and the bell rang, in walks his good friend Johnny. ""Hey there Johnny! How ya doin'? What can I get you, buddy?"" ""Hey Mike, doing good. Just a little short of money this month and we're all out of toilet paper."" ""Gee, that's too bad Johnny. Tell ya what. I've got a delivery of a shipment of unbranded toilet paper. …

John Wayne rides his horse into town, ties the reins to the hitching rail, walks to the back of the horse and pokes his finger up the horses butt. He then proceeds to wipes the finger all around his mouth. A man standing nearby runs over and says ""Mr Wayne, why did you do that"" John Wayne replies ""Well, the wind and rain causes my mouth to get all dry and chapped"" ""And that prevents it?"" asks the guy ""No"" says John ""but is sure stops you licking your lips""

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. ""Pardon me, sir,"" she says to the store manager, ""but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"" ""Well,"" he replies pointing out one brand, ""this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."" He grabs another and says, ""This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."" Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, ""We cal…

John Wayne vs. Johnnie Walker What the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker? Johnnie Walker is still killing indians.

What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

Dark jokes 1. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is 2. What's the worst part about breaking up with a japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message 3. What did kermit the frog say at Jim henson's funeral? Nothing 4. What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society 5. What's the difference between john wayne and jack daniels? Jack daniels is still killing indians 6. Penn State moved the Jerry Sandusky statue to the library. When yo…

A tribal Indian Chief needs toilet paper... so he heads to the supermarket. He has never been to a supermarket before and has no idea where to start. He starts wandering the aisles marveling at all of the different products lining the shelves. A clerk notices the Chief walking around aimlessly. -Hi sir, you look lost. What can I help you find? -Me chief. Need toilet paper. -Sure thing. Is there a certain brand you're looking for? The chief looks at him blankly for a moment and shrugs, so th…

John Wayne walks into a bar... And asks the bartender if he can use his private restroom. "No!" Says the bartender, "You can use the public one, just like everybody else!" John wayne replies: "Oh come on man, I'm John Wayne!" "No preferential treatment, either use the public one, or get out." John Wayne thinks for a while, hoping from foot to foot, before he gives in, and waddles off the the mens room. A few moments later he returns with his left pat-leg totally soaked. "What the hell happened…

Who has killed more indians than John Wayne? Union Carbide Corporation

What's the difference between Jack Daniels and John Wayne? Jack Daniels is still killing Native Americans.

John Wayne walks into a bar... And asks the bartender if he can use his private restroom.

What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago.

Whats the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

Whats the difference between Jack Daniels and John Wayne? Jack Daniels is still killing American Indians