What kinda pet would John Wayne get?... He'd get a long little doggie.

When John Wayne died, he had 40 pounds of fecal matter in his intestines. It sounds like a lot of shit, but it's true.

Why did John Wayne get a weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.

Did you hear about the new John Wayne toilet paper? It's ruff tuff, and takes shit from no one.