John Wayne toilet paper A Native American walks into a corner store and asks the cashier if there's any toilet paper for sale. The cashier responded, ""We have 2 kinds of toilet paper, the premium super soft 3 ply Charmin and our cheap store brand that doesn't have a name."" ""Give me the cheap one."" And the guy went home. A few days later, the Native American comes back and tells the cashier that he's come up with a name for their store brand toilet paper: John Wayne. ""Why? Because he's rough and he's tough and he don't take shit from Indians.""