Harry Potter Jokes

Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison? Because he catches all the snitches!

Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black

A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

[NSFW] What's the difference between Harry Potter and Jews? Harry Potter came out of the chamber alive.

Change the last word of your favorite movie title to ""Impregnator"" e.g. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's **Impregnator** Transformers, Revenge of the **Impregnator**

Baby sister told me this one attn Harry Potter fans Sister: ""Harry's godfathers middle name should be 'Lee'"" Me:""wait, whose the godfather?"" Sister: ""Sirius Black"" Took me a minute.

A little Harry Potter humour... How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort? You-knew-who

Harry Potter was on last night, i decided to click on the subtitles so i could watch the movie and read the book at the same time

So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, right? I guess that's when the books started getting *dead Sirius*

""Harry Potter"" branded condoms. ""Protect your wand from Hogwarts while you're Slytherin in her chamber of secrets"".

I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself.

Pistorius.....Sounds like something Harry Potter would say to make your legs fall off.

Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron.

Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc? A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!

10. ""Clocks are five hours fast"" 9. ""Everybody's speaking some crazy foreign language"" 8. ""Harry Potter won't return phone calls"" 7. ""So touchy about minor things...like going to war under false pretenses"" 6. ""They don't know where Saddam is either"" 5. ""Queen Elizabeth not half as funny as 'King of Queens'"" 4. ""Disappointed to learn 'Big Ben' is just a giant clock"" 3. ""Pack a gum costs 2 pounds -- who carries two pounds of money?!"" 2. ""I've been here for 36 hours and Prince Char…

UR MOMA IS SO HAIRY THAT HARRY POTTER GOT JEALOUS.

So apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema......... but, when you do the same for Schindler's List, you're some kind of sick weirdo.

How did Harry Potter get down the mountain? Running!... JK, Rowling.

What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter? Harry Potter escapes the chamber

Voldemort: Knock Knock Harry potter: Who's there? Voldemort: You know. Harry potter: You know who? Voldemort: Exactly!!!

I just watched Harry Potter for the first time and it was a little unrealistic I mean, a ginger with two friends?

On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter? 9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*

How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. ............. JK rolling!

What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter Warning: Offensive Harry got out of the chamber.

Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book Dead serious.