Harry Potter Jokes

Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no.

"Expecto me to be there" Harry Potter RSVPing to a party

Looking at the smoldering corpses of his enemies, Harry Potter thought "damn magic is dope as hell." #LastLinesFromGreatBooks

So all them black Harry Potter wizards just sat there and let slavery happen?

I made eye contact with a British boy today and quietly asked "Are you Harry Potter?" and he and his Mother did NOT think it was funny.

Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it.

Oh, hey guys how were the bars tonight? That's cool. In case you were wondering all of the Harry Potter movies are still really good.

Fantasy football is great, you can just imagine whatever you want. Dracula just tackled Harry Potter.

Whenever anyone quotes the Bible to me I quote Harry Potter to them because I too love a good magical fiction book.

ME: any advice DAD: its ok to embellish a little [later at job interview] INTERVIEWER: tell me about yourself M: i wrote harry potter

Harry Potter is actually an allegory about the emptiness of millennial hook up culture

If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby.

The only difference between you and Harry Potter is that his magic wand actually works OOOOHHH BURRRRN

Harry Potter fans: I wanna go to Hogwarts. Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia. Hunger Games fans: Nope I'm good..

People are always telling me I look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I've never seen the movies, but she must be a beautiful gal.

I'm really worried about this Harry Potter kid. Seems like he's definitely gonna die.

The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties.

What if Harry Potter was dreaming for seven years because he ran headfirst into a wall at a train station?

harry potter and the prisoner of society

My favorite part of Avatar was when Queen Amidala defeated the Klingons by helping Harry Potter & Legolas destroy the White Witch's ring?

So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library

Look all I'm saying is Harry Potter could have defeated Voldemort much faster with the use of drones

The most realistic part of Harry Potter is how he goes to a school where he learns skills he can't use in the real world.

Harry POTter? Hermione GANJer?HufflePUFF?? More like the sorcerer's STONED. Wake up, America, JK Rowling has a hidden agenda.