George Bush Jokes

George Bush is a pretty handsome man I would rate him 9/11

Bush and Brazilian Casaulties of War So, Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office. ""Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."" Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering ""My God...My God"". ""Mr. President,"" says Cheney, ""we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"" Bush looks up and says...""How many is a Brazilian?""

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border. May I see your identification, please?"" asked the agent. ""I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet,"" replied the guy. ""Sure Buddy, I hear that every day. No I.D., no entry,"" said the agent. ""Look, I can prove I'm an American!"" he exclaimed. ""I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side…

I had a turd the other day that looked exactly like George Bush. I shit you not! (It even tried to declare war on me)

You know what George Bush and Floyd Mayweather have in common? W.

George bush was attending a morning press conference... Donald rumsfeld read the daily briefings aloud ""This morning, 3 Brazilian soilders were killed"" ""OH MY GOD THATS TERRIBLE"" Screamed the president The room went silent, everyone was stunned by the presidents emotional outburst. A moment passed when George asked in a quiet Texas tone ""how many is three brazillion?""

Ok so there's this brunette who is determined to vanquish the stereotype that all blonds are dumb so she invites one million blond people to her event and manages to get her event televised all over the world. She then points to a blond sat on the front row and asks her to get on the stage. ""Ok, today is the day, I'm here to prove to you all that blonds are not dumb people, just regular people like you and me who have a different hair colour. I will ask this woman three questions and I guarante…

Why do i need to take English class in school hell George Bush became president, and he only knew 50 word. The last one being ""shoe""

Barack Obama has a long one, George Bush has a short one, Lorde doesn't have one and Pope Francis doesn't use his... Last names. What were you expecting?

George Bush sits in his office during the Iraq War. During a meeting with the cabinet, his aide walks up to him and says ""Mr. President, we've just received word that twelve Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq."" George puts his head in his hands and is visibly shaken by the news. He looks up at the shocked cabinet members and asks ""How many is a brazillion?""

A Brazilian George W. Bush was sitting in the oval office with his commanders thinking about their next move with the invasion of Iraq. An informant quickly enters and tells Bush that Brazil has sent a group of soldiers to aid us in the conflict, and that 5 Brazilian soldiers died in an explosion earlier that day. George Bush suddenly bursts into tears and begins to cry uncontrollably. After a few minutes, Bush collects himself, looks at the informant and asks ""Exactly how much is a Brazilian?"…

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office... ..... when his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand. He says, ""Four Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."" Upon hearing this The President says, ""Oh my God!"" and he buries his head in his hands. The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports. Just then, Bush looked up and said, ""How many is a Brazilian??""

George Bush is being briefed about world news overnight... ...by his men, 'Mr President, there's been a plane crash in Australia, two Brazilian soldiers have been killed in action, a major bushfire....' George Bush interrupts and says, 'hang on, did you just say two Brazilian soldiers have been killed???!!!' To which the man replies, 'That's correct Mr President...' 'Oh my... that's absolutely terrible!' says Bush. The man, looking rather confused says, 'Sir, they've been far worse accidents tha…

While George Bush was in office... he was informed of the death of three Brazilians in a plane crash. He replied 'Oh that's horrible, just awful....... How many's a brazilian?'

Local Call George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars,…

A bit of a Republican joke George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 …

Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him. The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled th…

George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens the floor to questions. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. ""Billy, he says."" ""And what is your question, Billy?"" I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"" Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush infor…

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. ""I don't know what to do here, "" says the devil. "" You are on my list. . . but I have no room for you."" ""You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do."" ""I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves. George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil …

What's the difference between Vietnam and Iraq? George Bush had a plan for getting out of Vietnam.

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (wait till you see the last one!) DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange th…

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush ""There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!"" George Bush replies ""Oh yeah and tell me what you see?"" Osama answers ""I can see New York with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side and everything is peaceful and wonderful."" George Bush says ""Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see …

So George Bush is in his office... His adviser comes in tells him, "Mr. President I'm afraid I have some bad news. There was an explosion at our embassy in South America, two Americans were killed as well as three Brazilian citizens." Bush looks at him and says, "Oh my God... How many is a brazilian?"

Why Indian students are disliked abroad It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: Chandrasekhar :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said. 'Very good! Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for th…

George Washington, George Bush, and Bill Clinton are on a boat. The boat begins to sink. George Washington stands up and valiently exclaims, "Save the Women!" George Bush runs to the lifeboat, shouting, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton stands up and says excitedly, "Do we have time?"