Europe Jokes

World Organization Baseball Game What did NATO say to the EU at the World Organization baseball game? Europe!

A young woman in New York City was severely depressed... A young woman in New York City was severely depressed so she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, ""Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of…

went to europe once for a miles davis concert --sorry, i meant kilometers davis...

A mailman is baffled at how to mail a letter addressed ""to the greatest drummer in the world."" So what is he supposed to do? He's gotta send it. He hoofs it back to the post office, and shows it to his boss. The boss says, ""come on man, send it to Chick Webb."" So he does. Chick Webb, the bandleader from Baltimore, sees the letter on his kitchen table and says, ""Jesus! That can't be for me. I'm good, but come on. That's gotta be for Gene Krupa."" He scribbles out his name, puts in Krupa's ad…

A joke for Europe A Greek, an Italian, and a Spaniard go into a bar and have an awesome time, ordering drinks till dawn. So who pays the tab? A German.

A genie granted a man one wish for a great deed he had done... He explained that it could be anything the man desired, for the powerful genie was capable of anything. The man thought for a bit, and said ""Build me a highway from here to Europe."" The genie was surprised, he explained that a highway to europe wouldn't be a great way of transportation and how it would be very difficult to build. ""Im sorry, its just way too difficult. But anything elso in the world, my friend. Anything at all."" T…

A Frenchman, an Italian and a Bulgarian were on a trans-continental flight over Europe. ""Aha!"" exclaims the Frenchman. ""We're over my homeland of France right now!"" The other two asked him how he knows - ""If you do some simple math it's easy to figure out."" A while passes ""Aha!"" exclaims Italian ""NOW we're approaching my hometown."" When asked how he knows he says ""I know those mountains down there like the back of my hand!"" Some more goes by and the Bulgarian shouts ""Aha! We just pa…

A depressed young woman was so desperate... ....that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said: ""Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."" Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, ""I'll keep you happy, and you'll …

Blondes can be smart A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and…

Iceland passed away last week... its last wishes were for its ashes to be scattered across Europe...

A New TV Show In a new TV show, they brought in some random dancing groups from around the world to represent their continent. Every group from each continent would compete for ratings against the other groups from their same continent, until only one group from each continent was left. Then the remaining groups would compete to determine a world champion. This is from the first several episodes: Director: ""Continent 1, please come forward."" (groups from that continent compete) Director: ""Con…

A Dark And Stormy Night In Transylvania Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They re driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a ditch.. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees…

An American biker decides to travel the world... Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day. One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe. For the next few weeks, Rick spent his days riding to and through some of the most popular European cities like Paris, …

Im sick of people calling America ""the stupidest country in the world"" Personally, I think Europe is.

Railroad tracks, a horses ass... and rockets! [Long] The US standard railroad gauge (the distance between two rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches... an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because a number of the early railroad lines in the US were built to fit standard-gauge locomotives manufactured by English railroad pioneer George Stephenson. The English expatriates who immigrated to America built them to the same dimension they had built them in England. Why did the English build them l…

A depressed young woman... .... was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, ""Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."" Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, ""I'll keep you happy, and you'll…

I was recently in a museum in Europe So much Picasso I wanted to Pablow my brains out

The geography of men and women. The geography of a woman: Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman i…

The geography of women.. Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glor…

Can I get a loan? This one's my absolute favorite because it's so true (I know cause I'm Iranian): An Iranian man walks into a bank New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Iranian hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million dollars. ""The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,"" says th…

I'm American and I hate it when people say that America is the most ignorant country in the world Personally, I think Europe is the most ignorant country in the world.

I was walking through a graveyard in Europe... When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify. ""This is really strange..."", he said. ""This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."" ""Well, that makes sense"", I said. ""He's decomposing.""

I was traveling in europe Went to Austria with a tour group and stopped at a famous cemetery, we could all here a strange sound, after afew minutes I asked the tour guide 'what's that noise?' He looked me without missing a beat and said ""don't worry its just Beethoven de-composing""

A lady is bargaining for a honeymoon package abroad.. Says the agent: ""Check it out maam. 3 nights and 4 days in a cruise to Bahamas, all night party and casino environment with free booze. Just $2000 per couple. Hell of a deal."" The lady: ""Umm. Nice one. But do you have anything cheaper?"" The agent: ""Sure maam. 4 nights and 5 days in Australia. Sea surfing, para gliding, 5 star hotel stay and kangaroo ride as well. Just $1500 per couple. Hell of a deal."" The lady: ""Wow. But still.. do ha…

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enj…