Para Jokes

For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE.

Drunkenly changed my voicemail to "if you like cheese, press 2. Para Spanish, press cheese. To hear more cheeses, say goooo-DA"

My sons kidnappers: if u ever want to see your son alive, press 1. Para Espanol marque dos Me: ugh i just want to speak to a real person

pinoy jokes ngayon Isolated Camp Isang U.S. Major ang na-stationed sa isolated na Kampo sa Iraq. Kinabukasan, habang may ispection, napansin ng Major ang isang camel na nakatali sa likuran ng Barracks. Nagtanong siya sa Sergeant kung bakit may alagang camel sa Kampo. SGT: Major, dito sa kampo, masyadong malayo ang bayan kaya't kung sinuman ang gustong makatikim ng ligaya, nandito naman ang camel. Major: Bawal mag alaga ng hayop dito sa Kampo pero kung para sa 'morale' ng mga Troops, it's okey wi…

The Hungry Mexican Deep in the ethnic mountains of San Dijuana, a crazed mexican shaman cursed at the Gods of his religion after his illegitimate family died from famine, ""Umm, estoy un poco hambriento mang..."". The Gods enraged by this laborer's indignity send a bolt of white lightning down from Mount Sombrero striking the shaman. His flesh completely flayed from his body turned into the most delectable tortilla. His muscles roasted perfectly transforming into unimaginably delicious carne asa…

Why can't you reveal someone's private information online while flying? Because that would be a para-dox.

A lady is bargaining for a honeymoon package abroad.. Says the agent: ""Check it out maam. 3 nights and 4 days in a cruise to Bahamas, all night party and casino environment with free booze. Just $2000 per couple. Hell of a deal."" The lady: ""Umm. Nice one. But do you have anything cheaper?"" The agent: ""Sure maam. 4 nights and 5 days in Australia. Sea surfing, para gliding, 5 star hotel stay and kangaroo ride as well. Just $1500 per couple. Hell of a deal."" The lady: ""Wow. But still.. do ha…

Banned From the Para-Olympics Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

Recruiting for map 11, Equinox Application: Current IGN: Past Factions: Teamspeak/Skype: How active can you be during the week, and the weekend? How old are you? Timezone: Mining x/10: Basebitching x/10: (/10): PvP x/10 (Include your Para Elo): Any past betrayals (dont lie, trust me I know people make mistakes):

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO): 1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area. 2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. 3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes. 4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure. 5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it. 6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Targe…

Did you ever wonder what the Para in ParaOlympic stood for?,"Ooh, ""Stood"" for is probably not the best word to use there. On the bright side no one in a wheelchair has ever walked out when I told that joke.

Did you ever wonder what the Para in ParaOlympic stood for? Ooh, "Stood" for is probably not the best word to use there. On the bright side, no one in a wheelchair has ever walked out when I told that joke.