For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE.

Drunkenly changed my voicemail to "if you like cheese, press 2. Para Spanish, press cheese. To hear more cheeses, say goooo-DA"

pinoy jokes ngayon Isolated Camp Isang U.S. Major ang na-stationed sa isolated na Kampo sa Iraq. Kinabukasan, habang may ispection, napansin ng Major ang isang camel na nakatali sa likuran ng Barracks. Nagtanong siya sa Sergeant kung bakit may alagang camel sa Kampo. SGT: Major, dito sa kampo, masyadong malayo ang bayan kaya't kung sinuman ang gustong makatikim ng ligaya, nandito naman ang camel. Major: Bawal mag alaga ng hayop dito sa Kampo pero kung para sa 'morale' ng mga Troops, it's okey wi…

The Hungry Mexican Deep in the ethnic mountains of San Dijuana, a crazed mexican shaman cursed at the Gods of his religion after his illegitimate family died from famine, ""Umm, estoy un poco hambriento mang..."". The Gods enraged by this laborer's indignity send a bolt of white lightning down from Mount Sombrero striking the shaman. His flesh completely flayed from his body turned into the most delectable tortilla. His muscles roasted perfectly transforming into unimaginably delicious carne asa…