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Brenda Jokes

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An Email Exchange **An Email Exchange Between A Husband and A Wife On Friday Afternoon :** >*My Dear Wife,* > I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. However, unfortunately, I have certain needs that you can no longer fulfill. >Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 21 year old personal assistant at the Sheraton as a personal insult. >Please don't be upset----I shall be hom…

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Joke I heard today from the lady running my football pool: A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. Box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodation, but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go. If you or someone you know would be interested and wanted to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name's Brenda. She will be the one in the white dress.

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Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening, but before they do, they always put their cat outside... The taxi arrives, and just as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in. Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, ""My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."" Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, ""Sorry I took so long, t…

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2 whales Two Whales, Bob & Brenda, are swimming in the cold arctic waters when Bob spies a boat. ""It can't be!"" exclaims Bob. ""What"" asks Brenda. ""You see that boat in the distance, Brenda? Well that's the whaler that murdered my parents!"" ""Oh Bob, that's awful"" replies Brenda. ""Quick, Brenda, I have a plan! you go port side & I'll go starboard & we'll blow as hard we can out of our blow-holes & sink the boat!"" so Bob & Brenda position themselves either side of the …

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The drowning man. Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. ""Brenda, may I come in?"" he asks. ""I've somethin' to tell ya."" ""Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"" ""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ye, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guiness brewery..."" ""Oh, God no!"" cries Brenda. ""Please don't tell me..."" ""I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."" Finally, she …

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Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. ""Brenda, may I come in?"" he asks. ""I've somethin' to tell ya."" ""Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"" ""That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."" ""Oh, God no!"" cries Brenda. ""Please don't tell me...."" ""I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."" Finally, she looked up at Tim…

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A man approaches the ticket counter at a train station, and notices that he and the attendant have matching black eyes... The man approaches the ticket counter, and says "Hey, look at that buddy, we've got matching shiners! How'd you get yours?" The ticket attendant replies, "Oh man, it's the damndest thing... this beautiful woman came up to the counter just SPILLING out of her shirt. Instead of saying 'Here's your ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said 'Here's your picket to Tittsburgh', …

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Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. …

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Trying to help a friend I am trying to help a friend of mine who has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. The package includes box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodation, but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding, so he can't go. If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St Peter's Church in New York City at 5 pm. Her name is Brenda. She'll be the one in the white dress.

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A blind man goes to a restaurant... "Menu sir?" asks the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order." The confused owner goes to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returns to the blind man. The blind man smells the fork with a deep breath, "Yes, I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." "Unbelievable!" thought the owner. ...So the blind man eats his meal and leaves. Two weeks later the blind man returns. The owner, wanting to…

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Two Americans – Brenda and Kenny – were bungee jumping one day when Brenda suddenly had an idea. She said to Kenny: "You know what, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping business in somewhere like Mexico." Kenny thought it was a great idea, so they pooled their money and bought everything they needed for a successful bungeejumping business: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. Then they travelled to Mexico and set up on a town square. As they constructed the tower, a c…

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