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Angel Jokes

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Why Is there a little angel on top of the Christmas tree?,"Many years ago, on Christmas Eve, everything went wrong at the North Pole. Mrs Claus was on the rag, the reindeer had the runs, the elves were on strike and Rudolph hit the bottle pretty hard. Santa was pretty pissed-off and about to explode when the little angel walked in with a freshly cut spruce tree. -- where do you want me to put the tree Santa? the little Angel asked. Santa exploded: And this is why there is a little angel at the

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A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false notes did you sing in your life?" The soprano answers, "Three." "Three times, fellows!" says Pete, and along comes an angel and sticks the soprano three times with a needle. "Owl! What was that for?" asks the soprano. Pete explains, "Here in heaven, we stick you once for each false note you've sung down on Earth." "Oh" says the soprano, and is just about to step through the gates when she suddenly

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An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says,

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The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the origina

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A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, b

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Love and Romance: 6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U 6 months: Of course I love U 6 years: GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose? Back from Work: 6 weeks: Honey, I’m home 6 months: BACK!! 6 years: What did your mom cook for us today? Gifts: 6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring. 6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living Room. 6 years: Here’s the money. Buy yourself something. Phone Ringing: 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the ph

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Blonde Cook Book: MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improv

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