Rudolph Jokes

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): An adolescent reindeer is first mocked, and then taken advantage of because of a birth deformity.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs

Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me

The story of Rudolph is a great way to let your kid know that bullies will keep torturing him until he's famous, then they'll be his friend.

#rudolph > .nose { background: red; border-radius: 50%; @include shiny; }

The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now.

Santa's Reindeer According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY wom…

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. ""I think it's raining,"" he said to his wife. ""No, that felt more like snow to me,"" she replied. ""No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said."" Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. ""Let's not fight about i…

A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. ""I think it's raining,"" he says to his wife. ""No, that feels like snow to me, dear,"" she replies. Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them. ""Let's not fight about it,"" the man says. ""Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."" ""It's raining, of course"" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on. But the woman insists, ""I know that felt like snow."" To which th…

9-1-1 Parody of ""Jingle Bells"" Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis Over the hills we go, crashing into trees! The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead, I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh! 9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead! Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh! Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life, But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!

What did Rudolph the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.

One night, a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window.. ...when he to his wife ""It's going to rain"" His wife asked ""How do you know?"". To which he replied, ""Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"".

Always trust the soviet weather man. A couple were visiting an art gallery in soviet St. Petersburg when they looked out of the window and saw the weather starting to look quite cloudy. The wife turned to her husband and said ""We should get back to the hotel,I think its going to snow!"" Before her husband could reply their tour guide leaned over and said ""Don't worry, it will only rain, definitely no snow!"" So they continued on their tour. At the next window they came to the wife looked outsi…

A Russian couple was walking down the streets of Saint Petersburg on Christmas Eve And they felt a slight precipitation on their heads. ""I think its raining"" says the man ""No its snowing"" says the woman ""How about we ask this communist officer here? He is always right!"" The man exclaims. ""Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"" ""Definitely raining"" he said before walking away. The man turns to his wife and says with a smile. ""See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!""

A Couple is Walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve... A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. ""I think it's raining,"" says the man. ""No, it's snowing,"" replies the woman. ""How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!"" exclaims the main. ""Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing? ""Definitely raining,"" Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. ""See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, …

A Russian couple was walking down the Street A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. ""I think it''s raining,"" he said to his wife. No, that felt more like snow to me,"" she replied. ""No, I''m sure it was just rain, he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. ""Let''s not …

Two kids are outside waiting for Santa... Suddenly the sleigh comes whipping through the air, flying directly towards them. They watch as it zig zags through the air, while Santa sits in fear, unable to move. The sleigh comes down with a loud crash into the father's outhouse at the back of the property. Santa rolls out, stumbles to the reindeer, and screams, ""DAMMIT RUDOLPH! I SAID THE *SCHMIDT* HOUSE!""

Santa came with the Reindeers last night... Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen! Where's Rudolph? Guess I'll miss him and his red nose this year yet again...

Santa's rain meter Santa proudly showed Mrs. Claus his new rain meter. Mrs. Claus noticed he had labeled it with a name. ""Santa, why did you name the rain meter 'Rudolph the Red'?"" Santa smiled and replied ""Because Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.""

A couple is walking... A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. ""I think it's raining,"" says the man. ""No, it's snowing,"" replies the woman. ""How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!"" exclaims the man. ""Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"" ""Definitely raining,"" Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. ""See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.""

Important Holiday news alert!!! We have just received word from a credible source who wishes to stay anonymous that Santa's reindeer are threatening to strike! Apparently the teamsters have dog-sledded their way to the north pole and are unionizing Santa's helpers! From what can be gleaned, despite conflicting reports coming from Santa Inc.(which is to be expected given the extensive and established control the state has over the arctic media), the reindeer are upset with a claus in their contra…

A couple walked home on Christmas Eve in Soviet Russia when the weather turned bad The wife said, ""it's snowing!"" ""No dear, it's raining,"" replied the husband. They argued this as they walked until they came across a guard. After learning his name they asked, ""Comrade Rudolph, is this snow or rain?"" ""It's rain,"" he replied. ""See,"" said the husband, ""Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!""

A man and women are walking together in Soviet era Russia... when all of a sudden, the woman feels something wet on her head. She looks up and then turns to the man and says ""Honey I think it's snowing"". Looking slightly confused, the man replies ""No darling, it is obviously raining"". The woman does not believe him and they begin to argue. Trying to avoid further conflict, the man says ""Let's get someone to help us settle this"". They look around and finally see a large man who is obviously…

The Angel Atop The Tree Tradition One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax. When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He …

Heard this one over Christmas, I can only apologise. Back in the pre-glasnost days a Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. ""I think it's raining"", he said to his wife. ""No, that felt more like snow to me"", she replied. ""No, I'm sure it was just rain"" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them. ""L…