America Jokes

Nine months into his presidency... Nine months into his presidency Donald Trump asked his advisors to poll the American people to find out what they thought America would be like by the next election.

What do you call Hulk dressed up as Captain America? Star-Spangled Banner

Three women - two from Eastern Europe and one from America - walk into a bar.

I'm surprised there are so many anti-vax politicians in America Because most American politicians don't seem to care if kids get shot.

Why is America so fat? Because THESE COLORS DON’T RUN

In the 90's America was fighting a war on drugs In the 60's and 70's America was fighting a war

Who can beat Captain America? Captain Vietnam.

What's the difference between America and Yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years it develops a culture.

A lot of people get all hot and bothered about euthanasia But what about youth in America???

In America dogs are k-9s

In a small town in America a person decided to open up his bar business

Which part of America can’t sell full-sized soft drinks? Minne-soda.

Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.

So much tax evasion in America... Almost like the country was founded on it or something

“You da bomb!” “No you da bomb!” In America – a compliment.

Why are there no knock knock jokes in America? Because Freedom Rings

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.

As the KKK are so full of hate bigotry and want to rid America of others...

America is so racist and homophobic That people even want their teeth to be straight and white.

An old Jew An old Jew who survived the German concentration camps is living in America. Every Monday he goes to his local convenience store and buys a lotto ticket. One day he hits a winner and wins big. The first thing he buys is a life size statue of Adolph Hitler to put in his living room. His family and friends are shocked. They can't understand his decision and think that he's losing his marbles. Finally his grandson asks him ""Grandpa

England: Colour America: Color England: Humour

Every 4th of July America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still...

So the pope is touring America but he tells his driver that he wants to drive because he hasn't driven a car in years...

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy... But won't cross the street to vote.

America is sure having some bad luck lately It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.