Visa Jokes

So there was this Gorilla in a cage... at Bobs local Gas Station. On the cage there is a large sign stating, "DO NOT TOUCH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES." Bob always found it to be rather peculiar that there was a Gorilla left in a cage at his local Gas Station, but hey ho. For months he went about his commute to work, each day stopping at the Gas Station to top up. Each day his curiosity grew and grew. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Bob arrived at the Gas Station …

It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

Rihanna was asked; "why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?" She replied: "Beats the hell outta me" Edit: holy shit front page, thanks guys

A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States. In order to get a visa, they have to Americanize their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Su and Fu decided to stay in China

Card Tricks 101 "Pick a card," the magician says. “Any card?” I ask. “Any card,” he replies. And so I took his VISA card. Score!

Social experiment Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan. The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies. The three were left alone on the island for 6 month. When the researchers returned, the German greeted them and showed the around t…

In the 70s... A Russian asks for a meeting with the President \- I would like a passport and a visa to Belgium - asks the Russian man \- But aren't you fine in Russia? - asks the president \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- So, maybe you don't like your work there? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- Maybe it is the life there that you don't like? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- Then it is socialism that doesn't satisfy you? \- Hm, really, I can't complain \- But now I'm confused. …

It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. Doesn't matter if it's Visa or Mastercard.

I went to the US Embassy for a visa interview in Bangalore. Officer: Where to in the US?

Rihanna was asked; ""why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?"" She replied:

It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's Visa

Did you pay the VISA bill?,"A man and a woman end up on a deserted island. He is desperate and cries:"" oh, honey we're gonna die so young. Nobody will ever find us here!!!"" She is very calm and relaxed. ""Don't panic , dear, we'll be OK in few hours, I forgot to pay our VISA bill, the'll find us don't worry""

Did you pay the VISA bill? A man and a woman end up on a deserted island. He is desperate and cries:" oh, honey we're gonna die so young. Nobody will ever find us here!!!" She is very calm and relaxed. "Don't panic , dear, we'll be OK in few hours, I forgot to pay our VISA bill, the'll find us, don't worry"

What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches? Visa or Mastercard?

Did you hear about the new LSU Visa card coming out? You get Les Miles and zero points