Tiger Woods Jokes

Why did Tiger Woods get divorced? Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!

I went to the store today and bought a movie called ""Tiger Woods' 18 Greatest Holes"" When I got home, I was disappointed, it was about golf

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii... A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night out with his wife, they wake refreshed and go out to the links. The man and his wife and the golf pro begin the course and they do rather well. After the sixth hole, …

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 ho's...

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? With Santa it is only three hoes and he's done.

What's the difference between a Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops at 3 ho's

WWTD A couple was on their honeymoon.... lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, ""I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."" The husband replies, ""That's no big thing in this day and age."" The wife continues, ""Yeah, I've been with one guy."" ""Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"" ""Tiger Woods."" ""Tiger Woods, the golfer?"" ""Yeah."" ""Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."" The husband and wife the…

Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes... Tiger Woods is jealous of his low stroke count.

A lion wouldn't cheat at golf... But a tiger woods

I bought a dvd of tiger woods best 18 holes... I was pretty upset it was all golfing.

An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet... It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code. Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, formal pants, and a tasteful bowtie; However, once again, the bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Barack Obama and his entourage…

President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, ""Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me""? Cashier: ""It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID""? Obama: ""Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States ."" Cashier: ""Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters an…

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after the third 'Ho'

Tiger Woods is the most overrated athlete in the history. In almost all matches he was sub-par.

Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and Barack Obama walk into a liquor store. Tiger Woods brings his alcohol up to the counter, and the clerk asks him for ID. Tiger tells the clerk he doesn't have any, but can't she tell he's Tiger Woods? The clerk says sure but I have to have some definite proof. So Tiger goes out to his car, grabs a pitching wedge, and brings it into this store. Tiger precedes to hit a ball 20 feet into a cup without even knocking it over. Clerk says 'Alright take your alcohol.' Mic…

Some say Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer of all time. I say he's sub-par at best.

What is the difference... What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes.

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, ""I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."" The husband replies, ""That's no big thing in this day and age."" The wife continues, ""Yeah, I've been with one other guy."" ""Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"" ""Tiger Woods."" ""Tiger Woods the golfer?"" ""Yeah."" ""Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."" The husband and wife then ma…

Tiger Woods... ...just had the worst 9 holes in his life, well second worst if you consider the 9 holes that lost him his marriage but still...

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn had a huge argument over whether to circumcise their son Lindsey went downhill from there, but Tiger made the cut.

Tiger Woods joke So I guess Tiger Wood and Lindsay Vonn are having an Open relationship.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes. (sorry if repost)

An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed. ""Hey,"" called the girl from beneath the covers, ""where do you think you're going? Arnold P…

Pfizer has come out with a new tablet after Viagra. To honor Tiger Woods, they have named it Tiagra. The punch line: Good for 18 holes.

Lance Armstrong, Oscar Pistorius, Tiger Woods all sponsored by Nike. Perhaps they should change there slogan to ""Don't do it!""