Technology Jokes

My phone doesn't auto capitalize the 'G' in god but it auto capitalizes the 'K' in Kevin. So now I worship Kevin.

I can't believe I have to recharge my stupid phone every night or it shuts down *sleeps for 8 hours every night*

ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun

A good pickup line is "I have a phone charger."

[texting] ME: I like you, I think you're cute MY CRUSH: oh um ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that

I'd never snoop through my girlfriend's phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.

If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet.

If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.

People who walk in front of the theater screen while you're watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.

DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there.

I overheard my neighbor tell someone on the phone that I was creepy. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under the bed & confronted her.

What if we had an internet and nobody came?

I chose a cell phone carrier for my mom based on high percentages of dropped calls.

I was told my $750 iPhone would improve the quality of my phone calls, but my family keeps calling telling me the same shit.

Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.

A salesman knocked on my door today. "Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply by 3 and add the number of guys in her phone named Tyler

I'm not saying the Internet at this hotel is slow but if you're reading this tweet, it's likely 2016.

We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest.

*answers phone call from boss* I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!

Is Pepsi ok? *I pull out my phone and send a text* *2 hours pass* *an out of breath Dikembe Mutumbo runs in wagging his finger* No it is not

My buddy's phone autocorrected "wife" to "wide" and now he's living in my garage.

My hobbies are scrolling through twitter, charging my phone and being generally dissatisfied with things.

I can give out my number and I bet 8152898509 dollars my phone will still be dry.

My heart just skipped a beat when I glanced at my wife across the room. Mostly because she was holding my phone.