Nyc Jokes

A man in the locker room of an upscale gym in NYC answers a cell phone and puts it on speaker while he dresses. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening speci…

A Buddhist monk walks up to a NYC hot dog vendor... ...and said, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor gives him the cynical scowl that you would expect from a jaded New Yorker, "That'll be 6 bucks!" The monk pulls a $50 bill from his pouch and hands it to the vendor. He puts it in his apron and yells, "Next!" Perplexed, the monk calmly queries, "What about my change, Sir." The vendor give the monk a wry smirk and said, "I though you knew - change comes from within."

Too soon for COVID jokes? COVID is like fashion… We started hearing about it in Italy… Became popular in LA and NYC… Florida ignored it… And it was all made in China in the end.

Court Custody A six-year-old boy was at the center of an NYC courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

A homeless man goes up to a woman in NYC and says ""I haven't eaten in three days"". She replies ""where do you get the self control?""

What's the difference between Middle Earth and NYC Two Towers

A blonde walks into a bank in search of a $5000 loan A blonde walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5000 loan.

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2 000

I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied

So a blonde gets on a plane bound for NYC... And sits down in the first class section. The guy whose seat she had taken

A Blonde Asks For A Loan A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5

I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5

How many NYC cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?,"None they just beat the room for being black.

What is a NYC nanosecond?,"If you are stuck at a red light its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

What fills the entire volume of its container and may become volatile and explosive when compressed? NYC subway commuters.

What do you call an earthquake in NYC? Harlem Shake.

What is a NYC nanosecond? If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.