Jamie Jokes

Jamie on FB just took a quiz to find out what type of flower she is. She's a vibrant poppy. Weird, all this time I thought she was human.

The Will. Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: ""My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. ""My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."" ""My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre. ""Sarah, my dear wife, please take all …

Grown-up Words A primary one teacher was speaking to her class on the first day of term. ""Alright class, I'd like everyone to tell me what they did over the summer holiday. Remember, you're not at nursery any more, so you need to use grown-up words now. Jamie, you go first."" So Jamie excitedly stood up and said ""I went on a choo-choo!"" The teacher grimaced and replied ""No Jamie, you rode on a train. Remember, grown-up words. Sarah, you next. What did you do?"" Sarah stood up and exclaimed "…

Mr. Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: My son, ""Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."" My daughter ""Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."" My son, ""Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."" ""Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the resi…

Jamie asked Tyrion [GOT SPOILERS] Why did you kill our dad?   Tyrion: \_()_/ , everything happens for a treason.

Janice and Jamie were on the last day of their vacation...(Caution: Punny Joke) Janice and Jamie were on the last day of their vacation, and they had spent the whole day on the beach. When the girls were ready to leave Jamie turned towards the ocean and said, ""Good bye ocean!"" Janice immediately replied with ""look it's *waving* at you!""

How did Jamie find Cersei in the long grass? Satisfying.

What was Jamie Bulger's favourite Bob Dylan album? 'Blood on the Tracks'.

Grown-up words. A primary one teacher was speaking to her class on the first day of term. >""Alright class, I'd like everyone to tell me what they did over the summer holiday. Remember, you're not at nursery any more, so you need to use grown-up words now. Jamie, you go first."" So Jamie excitedly stood up and said >""I went on a choo-choo!"" The teacher grimaced and replied >""No Jamie, you rode on a train. Remember, grown-up words. Sarah, you next. What did you do?"" Sarah stood up an…

Technology has ruined our kids A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. ""Davy, what noise does a cow make? "" ""It goes moo. "" ""Alice, what noise does a cat make? "" ""It goes meow. "" ""Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "" ""It goes baaa. "" ""Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "" ""Errr.., it goes.. click! ""

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. ""Davy what noise does a cow make?"" ""It goes moo."" ""Alice what noise does a cat make?"" ""It goes meow."" ""Jamie what sound does a lamb make?"" ""It goes baaa."" ""Jennifer what sound does a mouse make?"" ""Errr.. it goes.. click!""

Grown-up words. A primary one teacher was speaking to her class on the first day of term. >"Alright class, I'd like everyone to tell me what they did over the summer holiday. Remember, you're not at nursery any more, so you need to use grown-up words now. Jamie, you go first." So Jamie excitedly stood up and said >"I went on a choo-choo!" The teacher grimaced and replied >"No Jamie, you rode on a train. Remember, grown-up words. Sarah, you next. What did you do?" Sarah stood up and exclai…

I have 10 sons and 2 daughters, and I gave the same name to all of them, Jamie... ...It's quite practical, she said, if I need to wake them up I just shout "wake up Jamie!". If I need them to eat I just say "Jamie! Dear, dinner is ready!". They all obey simultaneously. The interviewer asks "So how do you refer to them when you need to speak to one of them specifically?" Easy - she replied - I call them by their lastname!

A man in the locker room of an upscale gym in NYC answers a cell phone and puts it on speaker while he dresses. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening speci…