Yankees Jokes

I was walking down the street in New York yesterday, when a black guy asked me if the Yankees won... I replied, ""Yeah man, you're free.""

Bill & Hillary are on the mound of Yankees Stadium Before one of their games. Bill picks up Hillary and heaves her towards home plate. As the SS run over to help her up, One of their handlers screams at him, ""Mr. President! You were supposed to throw the first *pitch!*""

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

Walks into a bar: Pissing contest Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: ""I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."" The bartender laughs and says, ""You're crazy, but you're on."" The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses…

Funny Jewish joke Before you ask, no this is not an offensive jew joke, it is jewish humor: A man by the name of Gotlieb called his Rabbi and said, ""I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but tonight the Yankees start the playoffs. Rabbi, I'm a life long Yankee fan. ""I've got to watch the Yankee game on TV"". The Rabbi responds, ""Gotlieb, that's what VCR's are for."" Gotlieb is surprised. ""You mean I can tape Kol Nidre?""

Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees? Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!

What two jokes got Soupy Sales taken off the air? 1) I took my wife to see the Yankees play - I kissed her between the strikes, and she kissed me between the balls ... 2) My wife can't make a custard pie, but she sure can make my banana cream ...

A Chinese man walks into an American bank and sees the man in front of him exchanging some swiss francs into a good chunk of change. Remembering the leftover walk-around money from his vacation, he returns with roughly the same amount of francs the next week and asks the teller to exchange them. Upon receiving a sum much smaller than anticipated, he demands to know why. ""Fluctuations."" The teller says. At this, the Chinese man turns red in the face and yells, ""Oh yeah? Well fruck you yankees …

Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: ""I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."" The bartender laughs and says, ""You're crazy, but you're on."" The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then pisses everywhere -- all over the walls,…

Former President Clinton and Mrs. Hillary Clinton are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents, one of whom leans over and whispers something into the President's ear. As soon as he finishes, Mr. Clinton grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. Hillary falls 10 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities. The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers, ""Mr. President, I said, they …

A Baseball Tale Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there were a lot of folks who thought so. Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural .. a once-in-a-lifetime phenom whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90 MPH curveball would start out like it was going to hit the batter's ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of the plate for a strike. His changeup made the best hitters in the league cry .. they would swing, drop t…

In Texas we pronounce it ""nu-que-lur"" I'm often harassed about how I pronounce nuclear but I think fair is fair. If Yankees can have silent letters I don't see how come we can't have invisible ones!

In a small Southern town there was a ""Nativity Scene"" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a ""Quick Stop"" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, ""You Yankees never do read the Bible!"" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anyth…

General Sherman is marching through the South, and passes Stone Mountain in Georgia. On top is a lone rebel, hurling insults down on the Yankees. Sherman sends ten men up to deal with the rebel. Twenty minutes pass, the men don't return, and the rebel appears again on top of the mountain, yelling insults. Sherman sends a hundred men up to deal with the rebel. Twenty minutes pass, the men don't return, and the rebel appears again on top of the mountain, yelling insults. Finally, Sherman sends a t…

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and Whispers something to Bill. At first, Clinton stares At the guy, looks at Hillary, looks Back at the agent, and shakes his head ""no."" The agent then says, ""Mr. President, it was a Unanimous request of the entire Team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy."" Bill hesitates...but begins to change his mind when The agent…

So this black guys stopped me on the subway and asked "did the Yankees win?" I looked him in the eye and said "Yes, it's ok, you're free now"

"Yes, you're free now" I'm walking down the street in New York City when a black guy walking by me stops and ask, "Hey, did the Yankees win?". I ponder for a second then respond, "Yes, you're free now" and continue on my way.

I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said, "yeah man, you're free!"

I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied, "Yeah, man, you're free."

In a first grade class in an elementary school on Long Island The teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they are a Mets fan. Everyone raised their hand except for Kathy. The teacher asked Kathy “why didn’t you raise your hand?” Kathy responded “because I’m a Yankees fan.” Pressing further, the teacher asked Kathy why she was a Yankees fan. Kathy says “well my mom is a Yankees fan, and my dad is a Yankees fan, so I’m a Yankees fan.” The teacher then asks Kathy “well what if your mo…

Baseball A Braves fan walks into an Atlanta bar and spots a guy wearing a New York Yankees cap. “Drinks for everyone here, bartender!” shouts the Braves fan. “Except for Mr. Yankees!” The Yankees fan smiles and says, “Thank you!” Infuriated, the Braves fan orders another round of drinks for everyone except Mr. Yankees, who, again, thanks the man. This goes on for a while, until Mr. Braves asks the bartender, “What’s the matter with that guy? I’ve ordered rounds of drinks for everyone but him…

Two men walk into a bar one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: ""I'll bet you $1

I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won. I replied

I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said

What do you call an obese terrorist who plays for the Yankees? Derek Bin Jeter