Mr Clinton Jokes

Bill and Hillary's anniversary Interviewer: Mr. Clinton, what was your anniversary gift for Hillary this year? Bill: I took her to Africa! Interviewer: That's wonderful. What will be your gift next year? Bill: Maybe I'll take her back home.

Why did Mr. Clinton want to become President? Because it pays the bills.

Former President Clinton and Mrs. Hillary Clinton are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents, one of whom leans over and whispers something into the President's ear. As soon as he finishes, Mr. Clinton grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. Hillary falls 10 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities. The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers, ""Mr. President, I said, they …

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family. A few minutes later the Pope came out to make…

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of sta…

The President is running down the street one day and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says ""Little girl I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."" The little girl says ""Thank you Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."" Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. ""You know what little girl? I think I'll take one of those pu…

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.

Leaving Hillary back home, Bill went on a fact-finding trip to Europe. As his private plane approached London Heathrow, the captain made his customary announcement. "Mr Clinton, would you please return the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?" Hillary went to a fortune teller who revealed: "I have some bad news. Bill is going to die a horrible death." Hillary said: "Just tell me one thing. Will I be acquitted?"