The Five-Kick Method (long) A very famous and successful attorney from NYC was hunting ducks in the countryside. He was having a bad day in the woods as there didn't seem to be any ducks at all to be hunted. Then, all of a sudden, he saw the most beautiful, fattest duck of his life swiftly take off, so he aptly aimed and shot down the fat bastard. His dog quickly sped off in the direction od the fallen bird. Turns out the duck had fallen just a few feet within the fences of a private property. W…

WANRNING LONG! The Monk Joke. There once was a very successful lawyer in NYC. He had a wife and a kid but his life felt meaningless. After months of making more money than most of us will make in a life time he decides it truly just is not fulfilling. He loads up his Beamer and starts to drive. After some time he finds himself in up state New York surrounded by nature. He continues his drive until he happens upon a monastery. Hoping maybe he could find some peace there he stops and gets out of h…

The NYC blizzard In anticipation of today's storm, Mayor de Blasio urged the city to prepare for ""something worse than they have ever seen before."" Or as most New Yorkers just call a potential shutdown by 12+ of white, ""a Staten Island grand jury.""

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.