Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

[Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue

I'm flying to NYC today and I don't care what the flight attendant says, I will be using my seat cushion as a fartation device.

The richest black man in NYC has got to be Duane Reade.