New York City Jokes

The Pope takes his first trip to New York City... The Popemobile didn't fit on the plane, so he gets an armored limousine. The driver, a Catholic, is eager to please, so he asks the Pope if there's anything he can provide, to which the Pope says: "If it's not a bother, I'd actually love to drive, it's the only thing I miss about my pre-Pope days." The driver agrees and hops in the back, and the Pope gets behind the wheel, adjusts the mirror, straightens the seat, and floors it. Barrelling 70,…

Finally a smart blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank…

A blonde gets on a plane A blonde woman gets on a plane headed to New York City. As she boards the plane the flight attendant points to her seat near the back of the plane. As she is boarding though she thinks to herself, “I’m awesome and I deserve to be in first class”. So she takes one of the seats up front. The flight attendant sees this and goes up to the woman and says, “Excuse me miss but your seat is back there, you can’t sit here as you did not pay for it.” The blonde responds, “But…

400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City (long) It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. So, the airline had bungled, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant had an idea. A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced, 'Ladies and gentleman; we don't know how this happened, but we have over 400 people on board, but only 200 dinners. …

New York City is like Linux * Spend the first year re-learning how to perform basic tasks * Spend the rest of your lifetime claiming how much better it is * Bad drivers Source: @ chromakode on Twitter

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and says she's going to Europe for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5

A guy is moving out of New York City and begins cleaning out his home desk...

My absolute favorite: A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5

Nothing would make us happier. Donald Trump is flying over New York City.

North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City and I think that's really scary.

In New York City a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long.

The last rites A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. ""A priest! Somebody get me a priest!"" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest

A new store has opened up in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband

A Blonde walks into a bank A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5

The Husband Store A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband

A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week

Donald Trump is flying over New York City He looks out of the window and says to his family

A blonde walks into a bank A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5

My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and... A lifetime ban from the New York City zoo.

A blonde gets in an airplane... It is a one way flight to New York city and she sits down in the first open seat she sees.

Did you know you're 10 times more likely to be robbed in your home town than in New York city? That's because you don't live in New York City

Big John A man moves from New York City to the heart of Texas and applies for a job as a bartender.

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years... ...He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden

The Magic Mirror This is a rumour that a magic mirror resides in New York City. Anyone who can tell the truth in front of it is granted 3 wishes of their choosing. Anyone who tells a lie is exploded.