Monica Lewinsky Jokes

The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!

Monica Lewinsky will not be voting for Hillary.. The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run for president ""I will not vote for Hillary,"" she said. ""The last Clinton president left a bad taste in my mouth.""

What do the Green Bay Packers and Monica Lewinsky have in common? Clinton Dix, haha.

What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky? He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.

What does Monica Lewinsky and Soda Machine have in common?

Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars? Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

I came in second at a Monica Lewinsky look alike competition. . . . . . the judge said I was close, but no cigar.

Regarding the 2016 Presidential Elections As we get closer to the 2016 election year, US citizens must remember that they cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs. The last time she had a meaningful job, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky. And Monica blew it!!!

Monica Lewinsky says she's not voting for Hillary if she runs because... ...the last time a Clinton was in the White House it left a bad taste in her mouth!

I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016. I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth.

Monica Lewinsky just released a statement on the presidential candidacy of Hillary Clinton... She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

A man walks into a t-shirt store... There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled ""Got Milk."" The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled ""Forgot Milk."" The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled ""Not Milk.""

CELEBRITY COMPUTER VIRUSES Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte. Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB. Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them. Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly clai…

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? They both say insert Bill

Did ya hear Monica Lewinsky has figured out how to make a million dollars? She's gonna market her own line of cigar cutters

Bill Clinton One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies, and of course goes straight to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. ""I don't know what to do here,"" says the devil. ""You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll be really nice, and even let you decide who leaves…

This needs some polishing but... A reporter is interviewing Monica Lewinsky after the scandal she was involved in with President Bill Clinton. The reporter asked, ""So, what started this relationship between you two?"" Without missing a beat, Lewinsky replied, ""he came onto me.""

Obama goes to hell Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him. ""I'm not sure what to do."" says the Devil. ""You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go."" ""I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves!"" Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agrees…

Monica Lewinsky turns 39!! They grow up so fast...seems like yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees puting everything in her mouth!!!

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you as soon as possible. Please share this with others immediately!! Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC. Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go down. Disney virus.................Everything in the computer go…

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. ""Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!"" she exclaimed. ""No,"" said the genie, ""You have been very bad recently, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."" ""Let's see,"" says Monica, ""I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews,…

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. ""I don't know what to do here, "" says the devil. "" You are on my list. . . but I have no room for you."" ""You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do."" ""I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves. George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil …

This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 31. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.